Friday, 31 December 2010

Goodbye, 2010!

So here we are. December 31st, somehow. 2010 seems to have gone by in the blink of an eye (and I apologise now, I'm typing on my netbook and the keyboard does not match the size of my hands!).

I'm at the Mr's parents' house, we've been here since Christmas Eve, and this evening looks to be a quiet affair. I won't deny, however, that I'm hoping for a repeat of what seems to have become a pattern of us having great sex on NYE.

This is our third NYE together, and both the previous years, I've had my share of epic sex. The year before last, we finally got our kink on, with me ending the night in handcuffs and a glass dildo in me. (I should point out that this happened after we got back, not during any party)... Last year we were at a house party that his cousin and wife were throwing. It wasn't too big a party, but it was a lot of fun (ignoring the time I spent locked in a kitchen with the CREEPIEST couple I have ever met, hitting on me...). We didn't sleep there though, there wasn't the room. We trekked back through the snow in the early hours of 2010 to his Gran's house, where we climbed into the guest room bed.

I didn't expect anything to happen that night - as I pointed out to him when he tugged down my cute PJs bought especially for the occasion, we were in his GRANDMOTHER'S house. He reminded me of her deafness, and ignored any request to stop.

Before long, I had either stopped caring where I was or - entirely possible - forgotten where I was, who I was or what my name ecven was... Because that, my friends, was the first time I got rimmed.

Oh, Oh, OH YES.

NK x

PS - new things are coming. More info soon! xx

Monday, 29 November 2010

So, I hate blogger, and Godaddy.

So, it seems that today my domain name registration for expired. I have to admit I hadn't realised it was today it'd end, but I'd also looked into renewing way before this and couldn't find a way. I guess it's my own stupid fault for ever buying a domain name through Godaddy via Blogger in the first place.

A friend of mine is helping, and I have queries in with godaddy themselves, to try and rectify right now, but I don't know that it will. (The mathematical increase in value of what they want for the domain is staggering)

Something, however, will be sorted, and hopefully soon.

I'll get back to you asap to let you know what's going on
NK x

Friday, 12 November 2010

On Fantasising...

Picture reproduced under Creative Commons. From Chiara CC on Flickr.

I think fantasies are interesting. 

I identify completely as a submissive. It's just who I am and always have been from the beginning of my partnered sex beginnings. I have never really questioned my BDSM roles within that time, or at least not until lately. 

I found myself desperate for sleep on Tuesday night. I knew I'd only have time for about 3 hours sleep at most as I was heading to London via coach in the small hours of the next morning for the Student Fees Protest (and no, I wasn't one of the ones who got violent, honest!). 
As time passed, I still struggled to drift off. My mind wouldn't slow down or shut off, and I felt restless and wide awake. There is, of course, an obvious sedative. 

A good orgasm induces such a fantastic state of relaxation, the sensation of spent energies and sastisfaction that make it so very easy to drift into slumber... 

Already naked in my bed (I cannot sleep clothed for love nor money... well, when I really have to. But if it's my own home, it ain't happening!), I allow my hands to wander across my body; my mind searching for a scene to play out and emmerse myself within. 

I surprise myself as my mind conjures that of a submissive male, desperate and beneath me. He is warned not to even think of getting hard as I squat above his face. In my fantasy, I feel my knickers become hot and wet as they soak through with my juices, inches above his pathetic face. 

His cock stiffens, and a swift, stinging strike of the crop lands. "What the fuck did I tell you?" I scold. 
"I'm sorry, Mistress, please"
Still just above his face, my fingers slide into my panties, pushing them aside to allow him to see me rub my hardened clit.

Lying in my bed, eyes closed and deep within my fantasy, my fingers mimick those within my mind. 

It takes next to no time before I feel waves of pleasure radiate from my pussy, as my orgasm comes hard and pulsating. I feel my pussy juices drip onto his waiting face. I warn him to catch every drop with his mouth if he wants to please me. 

He does. 

"Well done, you've done something right for once". 

And before the scene can even finish playing out in my mind, I come back to the present. 

Just me in my bed, wondering what the fuck that was about, and how it got me so hot.

NK x

Sunday, 31 October 2010

Stephen Fry and the Media's Sense of Humour Fail.

Picture reproduced under Creative Commons. From James UK on Flickr

So, Stephen Fry is at the centre of another debate today - and has, again, decided to switch off from the Twitterverse for the time being. While it could be read as a strop (and I'm sure some will read it that way), it could also be seen in the context of being tired of constant battering as soon as someone has something to say - and in the case of an article such as this - many do, and have. 

The article, based off an interview given to Attitude magazine, is at the core of the issue. Fry is quoted as saying that he "feels sorry for straight men" as "The only reason women will have sex with them is that sex is the price they are willing to pay for a relationship with a man, which is what they want. They want a boyfriend and then they want commitment."

It should be noted that, on twitter, he has pointed out that the interview was given in a humourous manner (see above), and that has now been misquoted twice over. For that, I feel pretty sorry for him. Attitude, being a gay lifestyle magazine, would likely feel like a place of some security, to be able to joke comfortably about sexuality and gender differences, without being crucified for it. Apparently not. 

Don't get me wrong here. I disagree with Stephen's comments, presuming they're meant somewhat seriously, which I don't believe them to be. So in that respect I find it hard to get annoyed. 

I disagree emphatically with the comment:
“Of course a lot of women will deny this and say, ‘Oh, no, but I love sex, I love it!’ But do they go around having it the way that gay men do?"

I don't see a great deal of difference between my gay, straight, bi and pan friends in their sexual behaviours. None of my friends use cruising areas, regardless of their sexuality. I also don't honestly see a particular difference in sex drive down to sexuality either. For example, a gay friend of mine likes sex, but he's not that bothered. For him, it's very much the relationship that matters - in that he'd rather have a sexless long term relationship than flings or one night stands with amazing sex. 

I'm a bisexual woman, and my partner is a straight man. My sex drive is much higher. No, I don't go cruising. We don't swing, or go dogging. None of that means I have any less of a sex drive or more. 

On average though, men do think about sex more than women. Or, rather, men are willing to state that they think of sex more often than women are willing to state they do. The Kinsey Institute found that 54% of men said they thought of sex at least once a day, comparing to 19% of women. I know I fit within that 19% but I recognise that it's a trait linked more to males than females, and that's okay. 

I don't believe that diminishes female sexuality or suggests that men have 'more' sexuality than women, nor does it imply anything else about an individual's sexuality or sexual identity. It works in broad numbers, as does Mr Fry's comments. Add that to the intended humour of the situation, and I'm left feeling far more for him, in that as a well known celebrity, you really can't get away with a joke. 

I'm not offended, and I hope he gets a break soon! 

NK x

Friday, 29 October 2010

Tracy Quan; Please Stop It.

Picture reproduced under Creative Commons. From Smoobs on Flickr.


This is the second time I've seen this quote, about lube:

“Tell him he’s more, ahem, challenging than average. You really need that extra lube to keep things comfy, because you’re not accustomed to a man of his hugely impressive dimensions.”

Apparently, we should "spare him the biology lecture", advise both LoveHoney and Harlot Magazine (Article "5 Sex Secrets Men Don't Want You to Know... And how to deal with them").

 Really? We've worked for so long to encourage the concept of open dialogue and the right to female sexual fulfilment to be recommended THIS? I'm not denying that this tactic may have worked for Tracy in the past - and that's all well and good - but what may have worked for clients isn't always the way to go with someone you're involved with... Tracy, for all I know, may have also rolled out this cliche to men she dated or slept with on a personal level, I don't know. What I do know is that men, contrary to what is sometimes suggested, are not stupid. Most guys know vague averages, and they'll be able to judge off their experiences with other women too. A significant proportion of men would be nothing short of patronised by such a comment (especially when they know they're of average proportions) - which is a mood killer in its' own right.

Surely the obvious answer is a confident "It'll feel great" - sure you don't have to tell a new guy or a one night stand your life story, but be realistic. Lube can easily be worked into a fulfilling sex life that doesn't base itself off BS. How about applying lube to his cock (condommed, unless you're in an established relationship, I'm sure you don't need that lecture off me too)with your hand, allowing for a slippy hand job that will flow naturally into hot, wet sex? If you prefer to lube yourself up, that's no reason to worry either- I honestly don't think I've met a man who has disliked the visual of a slick, slippery pussy waiting for his attention!

It's only right to add here, that Julie Peasgood, whose post quoted the Tracy Quan advice at LoveHoney, did come back into the debate and say that she had hoped it would read tongue in cheek, but unfortunately I feel it misfired, as many women do have very real hang-ups about issues such as this, and advice like that can be tempting.

The issue of Tracy Quan and her "Don't talk" policy only re-entered my consciousness today as she features in Harlot issue 19 in the above article. In all honesty, giving her a whole article to advocate more worries, hangups and 'white lies' didn't impress me especially. (You might have trouble responding to your man's touch if you use a vibe, don't tell him you're on the pill - STI talk is a turn off, and you taste bad - I paraphrase, but hell, I'm annoyed.)

I do love Harlot though, and it really is worth a read. Just know that you might want to turn the page when you see Tracy's twaddle.

NK x

Thursday, 28 October 2010

HNT... A Tiny Dot.

Do you see that dot there? The tiny little blemish on the inner crease of my arm? It's barely noticable, I know.

It's the little, very temporary, reminder that I helped save a life on Tuesday.

I gave blood (for the first time).

You can too. Check where in the UK and the USA at these sites.

NK x

BDSM and Me - Part 5: Culture

This is part 5 in a 15 part series of questions I've been slowly working my way through for some time now. Click here to see the full list. 

What would you say have been (if any) mass and pop culture influences on your BDSM expectations, performance and desires?

Picture reproduced under Creative Commons. From Bert23 on Flickr

Right now, I find this a really interesting question. I switched degrees at University and I'm now studying on a programme that combines media and cultural studies; a course that I'm finding incredibly enjoyable and very "me".

Even defining popular culture is a huge undertaking however! (It must be if a professor at my University can somehow have managed to crank out five editions of a text book on media and popular culture!) I have 2000 words to write on just that!

However, overlooking the problems with the term itself, I'll attempt to answer this without veering off into essay mode!

Popular culture has for a long time, depicted kinksters and BDSMers as the "others", as the socially deviant, and at times morally questionable. I always found that hard to accept. From a fairly young age, the first sights of kink I was exposed to (I would suspect that was online!), I found to be an enlightening demonstration of self expression. For that reason, I always felt that I didn't understand the need for secrecy we find imposed upon us by society.

At the same time, however, I also suffered with masturbation guilt during my earlier years as a furtive wanker. It wasn't probably until I reached mid teens that I truly accepted self love as a source of pleasure and joy, rather than something to feel ashamed of afterwards.

Luckily, by the time I was introduced in the real world to kink, I was well and truly over my self pleasure shame!

Largely, I'd say I tend to avoid paying too much attention to what mainstream mass media has to say about fetish and kink, as the majority of it is nothing more or less than a caricature of reality; a distorted jumble of the seedier elements of what someone might have done to someone else, somewhere...

Saying that, though, I am a member of FetLife, and that could be easily classified as a sub-group within society, and of course, that makes it a smaller part of (admittedly "deviant") culture. I have learned a lot about other peoples' kinks and fetishes in the time I have been a member there, and it has helped me greatly in getting more involved with the local social kink scene.

Being involved to this small extent has meant that I feel I better understand what might happen at a BDSM club, or play party, and as such think I may yet find myself in attendence some day. Were it not for the influence of the online and real world communities I have encountered, I know that wouldn't be the case - it'd all be too intimidating for me.

As I have learned of more and different kinks and fantasies which other people hold, I have found my own kinks and potential kinks widening. Some years ago, for example, I might not have been as open to rimming as I am now (if you'll pardon the unintentional pun there!) - and I am so glad I am.

While I know that went on a bit, and I probably waffled on for far too long, I hope it explains a little of my influences.

NK x

Wednesday, 27 October 2010

Not Straight, Not Gay; On Coming Out as Bisexual.

Picture reproduced under Creative Commons. From salanki on Flickr

So, I suspect everyone here already knows I am bisexual. It wasn't always that way of course.

I remember being a lot younger and having some difficulty with my sexuality. It never bothered me that I seemed to like girls in the same way I liked boys, but I was very aware that it would bother my classmates, so it generally wasn't discussed. Sexuality as a whole in teenage years tends not to be celebrated but instead dealt with in a very childish way, and often (I have found) in a very male-serving sense. As if the only way it was okay to be doing 'stuff' was really for a boy. That spilled over into the common logic at school that "of course boys wank" but if a girl were to admit that she also engaged in self pleasure, she'd have been the subject of ridicule for a very long time indeed. Female sexuality = not cool at school. Not, at least, in the schools I attended.

Of course, then at 16 I left high school, and moved up to a sixth form college in a city nearby. By 17 I had been introduced to the rock scene and remember meeting Kim* quite early in my fledgeling rock chick era. My friend introduced us, and as she had been introduced to me as gay from the outset I had no doubt. Not that I suspect I would have, if my friend had been more discrete.

Kim had long hair, a rich brown colour. She dressed fairly butch, and having been to an interview that day, was wearing black trousers, a white shirt and a tie. I remember noticing how the masculinity of the outfit and particularly the tie contrasted with her exquisitely feminine curves, the tie jutting out over her voluptuous breasts. 

I remember her laughing and whilst playing around, jumping ontop of my knees, straddling me as I sat, proclaiming "You're mine now!". I remember even more vividly, thinking "Oh God, yes please."

En route to my friend's house for a night out the following week, mid arguement with my Mum, I blurted out that the "bisexuals" she was judging included her daughter. We agreed nothing need be said to my Dad unless I got a girlfriend. While I felt, in many ways, this diminished the significance of my sexuality, and left me feeling half-in and half-out of the closet, I also knew telling my Dad would be a lot different than admitting the truth to my Mum.

Eventually, I did get my way with Kim. I remember the look of shock on my friends' faces as our first kiss ended, on the dance floor. In hindsight I don't think I'd ever mentioned how into Kim I was. Sure, my mates were aware I was bi, but actually acting on it...? I think that surprised them. 

(I have realised I may have to blog seperately about that kiss. Mmm. Yes, I think I do need to.)

I was a total chicken in telling my Dad too. He'd helped me make some jewellery for Kim's birthday and I started out by saying how much I'd appreciated his help, as she'd loved the piece. He was so pleased it had been a success... So I struck... "Kim's not my friend... She's my girlfriend."

He took a couple of repeats before it sunk in. And then he let out a small giggle, and said "Dear me". 

I don't know what I was expecting, but I know that wasn't it. 

Years on of course, and I'm in a straight, long term relationship. Somehow, I think I've finally convinced my Mum that being bisexual wasn't a "phase", nor am I now "straight". My Dad and I however, don't discuss it. We never have since then. Sometimes that gets to me, but then I remember that there are just a lot of things that my Dad and I aren't open about in the way that my Mum and I are. And that's okay. 

The upshot of all of this is, that even though it might have been nerve-wracking, involved some awkward conversations, and still be a slight bone of contention years later, it was worth it. For my parents to know that no matter how turbulent our relationship may have been, that Kim did exist, and I did feel for her exactly what I may otherwise feel for a man, or a different woman. 

If you are bisexual, gay, or otherwise somewhere on the queer spectrum, I wish you the very best of luck in your coming out ventures, whether they be soon or far off. If you need someone to talk to, I'm here. (nymphetaminekiss AT googlemail DOT com)

NK x

Eden Cafe: The Care and Keeping of Bisexuality in a Straight Marriage

This article, on Eden Cafe, really spoke to me, hence why I felt the need to point you guys to it. 

The Care and Keeping of Bisexuality in a Straight Marriage

"I was really happy with my choice to marry a man. But there was always that obnoxious nagging that I liked girls. No really, I liked girls. I wasn’t planning to marry one, I didn’t want to leave my husband, but sometimes…"

Go read the whole article at Eden Cafe now! Really, go...

Okay, you back? I really enjoyed the article and empathised greatly with the position. It can, sometimes, feel like a no win situation to be in and it helped to see someone else who found themselves in a similar quandry. I commented on the post:

"As a monogamous-identified, bisexual female in a long term relationship, this article really spoke to me. I've been having real difficulties lately with my longing for women and it's prompted me to feel 'shakey' in my long-championed belief that bi folk can be in a single, steady, mono relationship with either gender without the 'bi thing' affecting it…
As of now, I don't see a resolution for it. A bit of flirting with friends, a lot of fantasising about girls, yes… but I don't see any more than that, as fundamentally we're mono. For all the good and bad that brings."

Sure, the Mr and I may not be married (yet?) but cohabiting and in a long term relationship isn't too far removed, and if you follow me here or on twitter you'll know my girl-lusting is only getting worse... *sigh*.

NK x

Tuesday, 26 October 2010

Kink Fail?

So, this club is in a town not far from me. It's called Legends and being of the rock variety, I have been there once or twice (maybe a little more in my younger days ;) ).

Earlier this month they launched a new night called Suspiria Saturdays, which started out with a night promising "rock, fetish, metal, gore"...

Now, it's hit the papers.  From what has been said, regulars and newbies to the club felt the acts went far beyond what was billed - and I'm inclined, from what has been said, to agree. If nothing else, full frontal male nudity wasn't advertised - and while 'gore' was stated, implied rape...? Talk about triggering.

Now, I'm of the opinion rock clubs should be a bit dirty, seedy and sexy... But from the second I saw what is meant to be a rock club, dipping its toes in the waters of fetish, I had bad feelings. There is are perfectly good reasons why there are rock clubs and there are kink clubs, and I really think rock clubs should stick to what they are, and leave the kink for the kink clubs.

I don't think I'm a prude by any stretch of the imagination, and if I'd been there (I wasn't, the Mr was) I doubt I'd have been shocked or offended by what I saw... But I do think it is up to the punter to choose what they want out of their night - and unlike some supporters of the event, I don't think what is being alleged of the night is covered by the poster - whether that be good old fashioned rock and roll, or something a good deal kinkier. 
The cynic in me would be inclined to point out that there was a day that the rock scene in the North East didn't need gimmicks to get people out and partying... In all honesty though I still believe it doesn't. But club promoters will believe what they want. 

There's even a bit of me that's irked at the marketing and consumerification of fetish. Stop taking what is a life for some folk and making it into a fucking selling point of your obscenely commercialised rock club already! 

The bit that really concerns me though, is that the NE fetish scene has had it's share of dramas and controversies of late and we really could do with getting away with that - and unfortunately, many of the public won't differentiate, or maybe comprehend the difference, between a rock club playing at being 'sick and twisted' and the real fet scene.

NK x

Monday, 25 October 2010

Lies for the Liars

Picture reproduced under Creative Commons. From NeoGaboX on Flickr.

So. I've avoided stating my opinions on the FauxHo drama until now. Largely because I still wanted to see what else would come out, who would provide evidence either way, and formulate my thoughts from there.

As things stand right now, I am reluctant to judge whether Alexa is Alexa or Pat. There are people swearing one way and another, and I'd say the only way we'd know he definitely isn't is for Alexa to reappear - which clearly she isn't going to do... I'm the first to defend cyber anonymity, and that's her choice - but I would suggest that deleting your site is going to make you look a hell of a lot more suspicious...

The thing is though, that there are so many more accounts of how the info 'Alexa' posted was untrue than there are accounts backing her credentials - take the blog entry refuting her academic background for example - and while I'm the first to say you hardly need a degree to know a thing or two about sex, I don't agree with the bullshit. I really hate being lied to, what can I say?

I don't think that despising lies and being fond of net anonymity are totally incompatible, though. Lies for lies sake hack me off. Name switches, location alterations etc work just fine for me. If you want to post a fantasy or piece of erotic fiction, that's cool... But personally, I'd normally label it as such. Either way, everyone's more than entitled to do as they please on their own blog. But within that, I still have no time for people who BS about their qualifications. Not least because of the potential backlash it could have on that place or facility.

Another thing that I think is bugging me right now is the attitude of some folk who are acting like the concept of him 'just' tricking sex workers makes it somehow okay, or 'less bad' than if he'd tricked normal women... (As tweeted by furrygirl) If he did trick newbie escorts into seeing him, then that is not cool. Lets be realistic here - a lot of the fetishes and kinks do match up. But I don't know, that's true. I can say though, that I look upon it with discomfort.

Beyond that, I found myself really annoyed with her content stealing. As an escort, providing pics of oneself is hardly unusual - basic shots that show clients, in broad terms, who you are. Sometimes not personally identifying, but ones that will allow them to assess if you're their type and know who they'd be meeting... So to steal a cam girl's pictures, to me, seems odd.

All in all, I'm not convinced I can make myself feel any less creeped out by it all. And I don't trust the situation at all. I don't have the power to judge if they are who they say they are - but with the volume of untruths that have been shown to be fake... I'd find it hard to believe the day from "Alexa" without double-checking.

NK x

Thursday, 21 October 2010

Eden Cafe: Losing It

I had forgotten about this going live! It's my most recent post over at Eden Cafe, on virginity and sex ed. is irresponsible as a nation (and beyond) to refuse to accept that the information we provide our young people with will affect the choices they make and are capable of making. It may or may not reduce unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted infections – of course the hope is that it will – but if nothing else surely we should all be striving to ensure that the young people of today are equipped with knowledge that allows them to make informed choices?

Read the whole article at Eden Cafe

NK x

Sunday, 12 September 2010

The Ex Factor? When a former flame returns...

Recently, a friend of mine broke up with her significant other, and pretty quickly got involved with an ex. Some might be quick to presume it'd be a rebound romance, and nothing more. In her case though, I really don't think it is. See, for her and her ex, it was never 'over' really. Sure, they stopped seeing one another, they dated other people... but as for where their hearts lay, and where they naturally gravitated? Totally not over.

So they're together again now and I support her in that. I can see they care a great deal about each other and he treats her how I want her to be...

You'll often hear people say you should never return to an ex as there was always a reason you split in the first place. I'm not convinced, and suspect that's a little too sweeping to be fully true. Sure, if you split because of a personality trait that hasn't changed, or behaviour that hasn't altered, then of course it'd be foolish to slip back between the sheets...

But if you can honestly look back at your past love and know that the reasons you split are now mitigated, then it can work. For my friend, the fact that they lived a distance from each other was difficult. Now, they have better transport and a little more financial availability to get to see one another. The first time around, his willingness to commit didn't always work in his favour. I think, for her, it could feel a little stifling. Now, 4 years on and having spent that time with a partner who wasn't willing to consider how they were moving forward, and that once stifling focus seems wonderful.

It's not always so though. Some people are given every chance in the world by those around them and never change. I recently heard from an ex of mine, I'll call him the chef... He'd deleted and reactivated Facebook, and when I wrote on his wall mocking how short a time he was away for, I found a comment on my post, apparently from his very recently become-ex... Followed up by a message, it all alleges the chef's been a very naughty boy again, not only cheating on several girls at once (with none of them knowing), but also saying very disturbing things - using his family's ficticious ill health as excuses... All in all, if even half of it is true, it shows he really hasn't changed. When we were together, he even borrowed my phone to sit on a call to his ex for an hour when he was cheating on me with her... Nice. I wouldn't be surprised if he had done what these girls and their friends have said, in all honesty.

I really think he needs to get some more casual playmates and friends with benefits instead of being a monogamous cheat..if nothing else, it does seem to get him in some fixes!

In all? Sure it can work. But assess the reasons behind the split first. And if there was fault on one side... has the leopard changed their spots...?

NK x

Friday, 10 September 2010

Review: Fetish Fantasy Honeymoon Bondage Kit

This is another review I've been shamefully sitting on for some time now. I'm not usually this useless but with one thing and another, this has taken me forever... and I really hope that the gorgeous guys and girls at SexToysUK can forgive me... *flutters eyelashes*

I was sent this to review a while ago (*blush*) and it was really nice to have a change from vibes! Don't get me wrong, I love what I do and testing dildos, vibes and other toys is a pretty awesome hobby/job I have... but a change is brilliant too, and that's exactly what this provided!

In this kit, you'll find adjustable white wrist and ankle cuffs with tethers, a white blindfold, a pink and black feather tickler, 2 candles and a mini vibrator. As such, I'll take each item in turn, and then look at the kit as a whole...

The wrist and ankle cuffs are probably the most significant piece of kit in the box. Obviously, the thing that is most striking about these is the fact that they're white. Not entirely groundbreaking, but also a noticable departure from the standard bondage fare of black, black and more black, and a change that would likely make them a whole lot less intimidating to the uninitiated. In use, I was impressed by the velcro closures on the tethers, they really didn't give even when I tried really hard to pull against them. With the tether system though, our bed isn't exactly condusive to them, being the divan type. Still, overall, a definite thumbs up for the cuffs.

When I first laid eyes on the blindfold, I was skeptical. It's not the most expensive or thick blindfold, and to top that, it's white... so I really wasn't sure it was going to actually perform its task. I'll admit I was wrong, and that it does a surprisingly good job. Because of the way mine was folded in the box, mine had some pretty noticable creases, that made it look less attractive. They'll come out in time, but initially that does affect the look. The nose area could be a little better shaped, but that's a common flaw with all but the really high end blindfolds, and it's a minimal issue by comparison. Sure there are better blindfolds out there, but this is at least a decent-ish beginner's one.

In stark contrast to the vast amounts of white in this kit, sits the pink and black feather tickler that's included. The handle is a thin, plastic stick so it's possibly not going to be the sturdiest creation ever, but the feathers do feel wonderfully soft and is probably best (in my opinion) paired with the blindfold to allow for sensation play.

The candles are fairly standard, the normal white stick type many households keep in stock for emergencies. As such though, they're inconspicuous and will likely fit most holders. I'm not certain why they're in this kit though; in that as it's marketted towards comparitive beginners with bondage - for whom I'd think wax play might be pushing boundaries a little? If not, they could make for a handy way to set the scene and get the atmosphere right. I did check them out and they seem to burn pretty cleanly and the temperature of the wax is pretty average too.

Coming across the mini vibrator, I found it's the pocket rocket type, and comes with 4 interchangable caps (one domed; one with flat, circular bumps; one with taller, slightly spikier nobs and a fourth with what I can only describe as rounded off spikes). The vibe without any caps added has 3 metal nubs on the top, which I find to be a little rough to want to use on its own. The vibe is quiet, which is a plus point, and only needs a single AA battery, but largely, I didn't find it particularly impressive. With either of the first two caps on, (especially the dome) it feels like a lot of the vibration is lost, and travels up toward the hand rather than the clit... and the latter two caps feel downright spikey. I don't want anything that rough buzzing there. A bit of a let down, unfortunately.

Lastly, not mentioned on the box or the SexToysUK site, I also found a little bag containing twist-open samplers of PipedreamProducts' Toy Cleaner, "Moist" Lube and Peaches and Cream "Liquid Love". The Latter is a little runnier than most lickables are but does taste very peachy, if a little too sweet. The lube has a decent consitency, and isn't sticky. These three samples make for a nice, unexpected inclusion. It's just a little annoying that you can't reseal them.

All things considered, I'd say that the Fetish Fantasy Honeymoon Bondage Kit makes for a good intro set, but may be a little basic for anyone who's a bit more advanced. I wasn't a fan of the vibrator, but the hard wearing restraints make up for it.

It's available now at SexToysUK.

NK x

Thursday, 9 September 2010

HNT... New Webcam...

Yeah, so... I got a new cam. I haven't owned a webcam for years actually, and yeah... My boobs seem to gravitate towards camera lenses in general. Erm... sorry?

I actually really like this shot because I find myself looking at my hair a lot! It's getting long!

NK x

Tuesday, 7 September 2010

Win a Cobra Libre with EdenCafe!

You may (I hope) have already visited Eden Cafe. It's a fantastic hub for all kinds of sex, sexuality, relationship and kink related articles, and I occasionally write there too!

They're currently running a contest to win a Fun Factory Cobra Libre! Fun Factory have been crafting awesome toys for years, but before this, it was us ladies who got to have all the fun (or at least most of it!) - now they've come up with what I'd honestly say seems to be a totally unique male masturbator!

See, most toys for the boys are things that still require a fair bit of effort - things like sleeves and strokers, which primarily exist to change texture rather than do the job for you while you get to relax and enjoy... The Cobra Libre is completely different.

It accomodates the head and a small part of the shaft of the penis, and uses dual motors to vibrate any guy to heaven. Another thing that is brilliant about this gadget is the way it is totally and utterly masculine - no girly pink here!

Best of all, it's totally rechargable via the unique Fun Factory Click and Charge system - where the charger connects via a magnetic point on the back of the toy.

So with all that said, what are you waiting for? Win one here or buy one here!

NK x

Review: Cal Exotics Coture Collection Amante Remote Egg.

I was sent the Amante remote egg by Cal Exotics to review a little while ago and have been hopelessly tardy in getting the review up! Hell, I've taken forever to try it full stop, due to life stuff getting in the way (which pretty much sucks)...

This egg is flagged on the Cal Exotics site as "coming soon", and likely for that reason, I can't find it on any of the stores I usually shop at.

At first glance, the box is decent. It's a whole lot sturdier than the Cal Exotics boxes used to be, which is great. It makes no bones about what it contains, but it also isn't tacky or cliched either, so I'm happy with that.

Hailling from the recently developed higher end Couture Collection line,  what you get with this toy is a two piece set, consisting of an egg made of silicone with a stretchy cord, and a matching plastic remote which works up to 5 meters away. The egg needs two N batteries and the remote, a single 12v battery - both of which are comparitively rare and therefore a little more expensive than, say, standard AA/AAA batteries. However, California Exotics have provided the first set, so hopefully it'll be a while before I need to worry about sourcing new ones.

I found the egg to be really comfortable when inserted, and while I'd certainly be a lot more turned on than usual, I could easily go about every day activities with the Amante in. Turning the egg on (via the remote), alllows you to cycle through 7 speeds and patterns of vibration, and all are fairly quiet. I know of quieter vibes, but only bullets. Saying that, when it's inside, given a normal level of day-to-day background noise, I don't think it'd be noticed.

The speeds felt different enough without feeling wildly opposed, and they definitely got me off. I think where this vibe would excel would be in a public play setting or generally in partnered play. It would definitely be hot to hand over the remote to a significant other and allow them to give you a thrill while at the bar or in the cinema, and is a great way to enjoy the feeling of public play without running the risk of being arrested!

I can't help but also set my mind to wondering about the toy's applications in a D/s setting - if you enjoy that kind of dynamic, a Dominant playmate or partner holding the remote could get a lot of fun out of making their sub squirm in awkward settings...?

Anyway, all in all, not a toy I plan to use a lot, but one that handles the right situation really, really well. Not to mention being the most comfortable and pleasurable of the remote eggs I've tried.

Read all about the Amante egg at the California Exotics site.

NK x

Monday, 6 September 2010

BDSM and Me - Part 4: Kinky Clothing.

This is the fourth question in a series I'm answering all about my kinks. You can access the complete list here

Your thoughts on BDSM clothing: fun, too many stereotypes, too expensive, too uncomfortable, boring?

My opinion of fetish gear has evolved and changed over the years.

I'd go as far as to say that some years ago I had trouble understanding why there even WAS fetish clothing, outside of it being a specific fetish for some folk within the kinky community... I could understand if a person had a kink for a particular material or certain types of material... that made sense.But for a whole range of clothing to be deemed 'fetish'? And even more so, from my limited knowledge, fetish clubs often required you to wear fetish clothing even if that wasn't your kink? It didn't entirely add up for me.

Now, though, I'd say my opinion, and my understanding of it has changed.

Part of it is, undeniably, the psychology of kink. You feel different in certain clothes. Almost like a mindset-uniform. And yes, there are those for whom kink clothing is a fetish in its own right.

As for me, I do own a little PVC... Only one outfit so far but I do love it and hope to own more in the future. I wouldn't say PVC is a full-on fetish for me... yet... but I do feel very different when wearing it. I love the look of it, and it does feel more restrictive than a lot of clothing, which is enjoyable. No, it isn't something I'd want to spend every day in - and yes, I have far more comfortable attire in my wardrobe... But that's partly the point...

I do think there are a lot of cliches and stereotypes within kink clobber, but overall, I'd say that getting dressed up for an event can all be part of the fun and if it helps everyone get into the right frame of mind, then that's a positive. I'm happy to see, now that I know a little more, that most fet clubs do allow a wider range of attire than I'd previously thought, though. For some people, it's hard to get fetish clothing that fits, and even more so than that, there are those who really don't enjoy being shined up ;)

I must get around to wearing my pvc out some time.

NK x

Thursday, 2 September 2010

BDSM and Me - Part 3: Play Partners.

Here I'll answer part three in my series BDSM and Me, the entire list can be accessed here...
Are you comfortable in engaging in BDSM play with more than one person at a time in your life?

(If that image makes no sense, look up the song ;) )

This is an interesting one, and one I think I've been putting off answering. I last talked about the issue I've been facing here - and I hoped to have made more headway on it by now.

In reality I still haven't exactly worked out where I am on the issue. As a quick recap, for those who didn't see that post, R and I have what can reasonably called a vanilla relationship. A discussion we had (holy shit) 3 weeks ago led to him mentioning he'd find it okay for me to play with kinky friends, in a non-sexual manner. (Which he already knows would never happen.)

Part of what is concerning me (hell, most of it) is the worry that it'd either feel like cheating for me, or that R would say, and perhaps think, he'd be alright with it, but in practice it'd be different. I do wonder if I'm being unfair in thinking that - I know he's more than capable of knowing his own mind and that he understands the difference.

In respect of play in it's own right happening with more than one person, I'm pretty certain that'd work well, and it wouldn't bother me at all... The only restriction to that is that I have to trust someone really well and have my own self confidence issues set well aside with that person before I can even consider play. Right now, I can say there's one person (putting aside R) who I can say with some certaintly I have that with.

So for now, my answer to the question is "I don't know". I think I am, but I have reservations - which I really want to work out in my own head and with R because I do have those needs and desires and it would be good to clear up my own head from this one.

NK x

Wednesday, 1 September 2010

Review: Pin Ups (Glitter Bullet + Bombshell Balm Set)

The gorgeous guys and girls at LoveHoney sent me one of these babies to try out, so a huge thanks to them... a really huge thanks. You'll see why soon!

The most striking thing, to me, when I first received the Pin Ups Bullet Balm combo was the packaging. I can honestly say I have never seen better, classier or more collectable sex toy than this one.

The tin, only a little bigger than a common cigarette tin, features one of three pinups, and reveals nothing of the contents. (Mine was the silver bullet with the blonde bombshell on the tin) Were it to tumble from a handbag, it could easily be mistaken for makeup or perhaps a cute tin being used to hold feminine products or hair accessories. Either way, no one would ever guess it housed your bullet vibe! 

Popping the lid off reveals a black solid foam wedge (absolutely no rattling, then!) holding the Bombshell Balm, the glitter bullet, and an extra battery (thumbs up to that!)

Having checked out the balm, it seems that the most significant ingredients come from mint and menthol - not strong enough to make you smell like a cough sweet, but enough to provide one hell of a tingle. Having done a quick taste test, I can also confirm that it has a pleasant, minty flavour!

 I must admit that when I first read that it was a glitter bullet, I expected a sort of glitter overlay, and for it to be quite 'in your face'... The reality is far from it. The glitter effect is provided by the texture the bullet has, more like tiny water droplets on the surface. The end result is classier and more unusual than I'd imagined. Size wise, it's roughly the same as the Tracey Cox SuperSex bullet, and also has the broad, flat tip, rather than the point you'd find on, say, the Ammunition RO-80mm Bullet.

After taking out the paper disk in the bullet (for protection against in-transit buzzies), I cycled through the 3 speeds. The first is a low, heavy sort of buzz, and the highest is a much more high pitched intense buzz, with the middle setting somewhere in between. This may also be the quietest bullet I've tried yet.

Now, putting the two together in use... I dabbed a little of the balm on my clit (advice: less is more. I put a tiny bit on, then a tiny bit more and that was enough - this stuff is VERY tingly!) and watched a little porn as I felt a growing cool tingle spread. Before long, I had to grab the bullet!

I found that for me it worked really well to warm up on the lowest setting, switching up the 'gears' as I approached orgasm... which, boy did I... The orgasm this little baby was easily one of the best I've had in a very long time!

It's waterproof, so cleaning was a doddle, and it's going to be really easy to store as it has such a beautiful case... not that it's going to be put away very often!
Ultimately, I love this bit of kit, and it's easily one of the best things I've tried in a long time. I'd recommend the bullet alone, as between the speeds and the texture it's fabulous. The balm works brilliantly, smells great and tastes good too - what more could anyone want?! On top of all that, it's a glamourous little number, and just purrfect!

Want it? (And I wouldn't blame you!) - get it at LoveHoney now!

NK x

Saturday, 28 August 2010

2 Years.

I can't quite believe it's two years already for R and I. It's our anniversary today - and in case you're wondering, I'm not at the computer... god bless blogger's scheduled posting facility!

Our plans for today are pretty basic, taken from our Valentines day celebrations which were brilliant, and very "us" - spending a day, snuggled up together, ignoring the world as much as possible, watching dvds and eating tasty snacks. There will, of course be a watching of this film. I'm not saying it's a classy one, but it's what we went to see at the cinema two years ago today, and we rewatched it on our 6-month anniversary and our 1 year anniverary too... It's become an institution for us, and we intend to keep it up. Besides, we're so childish it still makes us giggle.

So, love and happiness to all of you.
We've got a fair bit of it going on today

NK + R xx

Friday, 27 August 2010

Review: Super Slik Lube

I first bought Super Slik Lube from SexToysUK when I got my first bigger-than-a-ladyfinger vibe, which is going back a good few years now!

Super Slik is a water based lube which comes in 100ml tubes and is produced by a company named Herrco in the UK. It's labelled as a non staining lubricant, which from my experience with the product I can vouch for, in that while I don't recall having explicitly spilled any, I've also never found any stains or marks from it either. So a definite thumbs up from that point of view!

I've found that a small amount goes a long way in use and the real value of this lube for me comes in that it feels so completely like my natural juices it's unreal. The consistency and general 'feel' of it is extremely close to my own lubrication, making it my number one lube for vaginal play.

It does work for anal play, and does the job well, but I do favour something a little thicker personally. It does have a slight aroma, but nothing unpleasant or overpowering, it's a pretty neutral scent (and just now, upon sniffing it, I've realised I actually find it very comforting! It must be a familliarity thing I guess!)

And, all in the name of science... or something... I have even tasted it! For you! Appreciate my dedication, people! ;) Anyway, having tasted it, I can confirm that it has a slight sweetness to it, but is otherwise fairly flavourless. I don't think you'd notice much difference going down on a girl who'd used some of this, put it that way.

All in all, a glowing endorsement for this one. It's my go-to-lube, and one I don't see myself without!

Buy Super Slik Lube at SexToysUK (Price at time of publishing is a super low £3.45!)

NK x

Thursday, 26 August 2010

Review: Ann Summers Rampant Rabbit G-Pulse Remote

I'm feeling guilty today! I've had this toy, the Ann Summers Rampant Rabbit G-Pulse Remote (try saying that ten times fast!) for so long! Unfortunately, between house moves, 'girly' problems and a whole bunch of other junk, I never did get round to it.

Last week I reviewed the ordinary G-Pulse, that is to say the one without a remote that came out a while before this one. The upshot of that review was that while the shaft was a touch thicker than I might have liked, the bunny ears rocked, and the vibration patterns were excellent.

So what has changed between the old G-Pulse and the new?

Well, it's marginally shorter and the tiniest fraction girthier, but aside from that aesthetically very similar... Other than the extra bit of kit nestled next to it in the box, of course! It still runs on AAA batteries, though with the remote needing two of it's own, you'll need to have a total of six in for this baby!

The name might have been a bit of a giveaway but incase it wasn't, I can tell you that the big difference is the inclusion of the new remote control. Now, I'll admit that when I first saw it, I did wonder if it might just be a little bit faddy... But after having a go, and also having had time to have a bit of a think about the applications, I'm loving the idea.

The most obvious use, of course, is to replace the tv remote in you're other half's hand with this! Escpecially for guys, gadgets and things that can be remote-operated never lose their appeal; so if your guy (if appropriate ;) ) has been reluctant to get into toys, this could be just the ticket to win him over!

Even for the single girl, or the solo player, it does offer benefit though; I found that the difference in use was much more than I'd expected - it made play much more fun as I didn't have to try to think and remember which button was what on the rabbit, I could just hold the remote and press away as I needed to!

This rabbit could even be utilised for kinky dominance and submission play if you fancy spicing it up, or are an old hand at the kink game - think of the uses of a toy that can be operated and switched off at range?

Much like it's non remote counterpart, this bunny boasts independent control of the shaft and rabbit vibrations, as well as a whole host of speeds and pulses for both. Again, in use I might have liked the shaft to have been a little slimmer as for me, I need a slim shaft with intense angles to hit my g-spot, but for many others a thicker shaft works - so it's really all about what works for you. 

The bunny ears are still divine and the multiple bullets that fire up the vibrations mean that the buzz still really carries through. The patterns of vibration and pulse on the G-Pulse toys is different to those found on most others too, with the build-and-relax style, which really worked on me.

All in all, I do think the remote adds a new dimention to this toy, whether with a partner or on your own.

Want to get one for yourself? It's available now at Ann Summers!

NK x

Monday, 23 August 2010

Stop Judging My Shaven Pussy.

Yeah, really. While we're on the subject, stop judging me for shaving it, and stop judging my partner and exes for liking it.

Seeing people say that the only men who'd like a shaven pussy are paedophiles, or 'twisted', and that the only reason women shave is to please men (or some folk are really kind and provide a second option of some kind of childhood trauma)... well, it makes me one angry girlie.

I've seen posts on otherwise forward-thinking sites by people I would otherwise consider to be open minded folk... All slamming the girls who shave and the guys (or girls) who love shaven girls. 

I shave. Big deal? I shave because I want to, for me. The fact R likes it is secondary. I first started shaving at about 16 or 17, and the reason? Not because a boyfriend told me I should, or peer pressure that I ought to... But having read that some women find it can increase sensitivity. I'm not suggesting it always does, by the way. My sensitivity wasn't a problem - I was able to climax fine, and got a lot of pleasure anyway. But I find it hard to resist trying something that so many others have cited as feeling so damned good.

So I did. And after finding I prefer the feel of my shaven pussy, I continued. For me it does increase sensitivity. I enjoy stroking myself more. I like feeling slick with juices on a hairless pussy, and that's all personal choice.

What annoys me really is that I don't insult other folks' choice of lady garden topiary, much less do I insult others and call them incredibly offensive names for enjoying the pubic styles they do. It's all good.

How about we all wear our styles however we want, and fuck people who like it, and be happy?

And stop picking on other peoples' choice.

NK x

Friday, 20 August 2010

Review: Ann Summers Rampant Rabbit G-Pulse

The deliciously sexy guys and girls at Ann Summers were kind enough to send me the Rampant Rabbit G-Pulse a little while ago and in the crazy haze of house moves, I only just found the time to give it a whirl yesterday! Obscene I know.

On first look, it's a bright (really, really bright) pink, with a slightly squishy yet full shaft, with that tell-tale g-spot angled curve at the head. It needs four AAA batteries to get going (inserted in the base) and has a simple two-button operation.

It's fairly average length, at 6.7" (less insertable) but with a 4.9" girth,it's certainly noticable! I don't know if I'd agree with the statement that it's "whisper quiet", but it is quieter than many other rabbits, mostly because the racket they normally create is down to the rotating shaft. It's worth noting it's not waterproof, so don't take it in the shower, and it's worth paying attention when cleaning it to not get water in the battery compartment.

Aside from the curved shaft, it differs from typical rabbits in the sense that it doesn't have the normal rotating, swirling shaft, instead plumping for vibration right the way to the tip. Given its purpose (g-spot stimulation), to me this makes a lot of sense. It actually contains four vibrating bullets, so the vibrations can be felt throughout the toy, which is a pleasure in the truest meaning of the word, as with so many vibes the bullet, situated at the bottom of the shaft, just don't make it to the tip.

The operation was also new to me; most rabbits have seperate controls for the rabbit and shaft these days, and as I mentioned before, it's common to have a buzzing bunny with a rotating shaft. In this vibe, just two buttons are the key to all the five speeds and patterns. From what I could tell, the speed settings alternate between the different bullets at different paces, though for me the most effective was the first setting when it is switched on, where each are cycled through at a moderate pace.

I found the shaft a little too thick for me to get especially good g-spot stimulation for me. I have found previously that I seem to need a slightly slimmer shaft to allow for the angle of the g-spot head. Saying that though, it did have enough "squish" to allow for it to fit without any discomfort or problems.

The buzz of the bunny ears was where this rabbit really rocked for me though. I don't know if it's down to the specific bullet type used in this model or if it was because the clitoral stimulation effectively stopped and started due to the patterns, but that was what really got me off.

For the bunny ears alone, I'll definitely be returning to this vibe again.

It's available to buy at Ann Summers.

NK x

BDSM and Me – Part 2: Giving Up?

Today I'm answering the second in a fifteen part series of questions I blogged about here.
Would you sacrifice your kinks and fetishes if you could have only conventional sexual needs?

I think one important thing to look at in this question is the recognition of kink and fetish as a part of sexual need, often as much as sex itself. I feel this is often misunderstood in itself. I have heard some people classify something as a fetish only when it is needed for any sexual pleasure, or that a kink or fetish can only be qualified as a need when it is integral to getting off at all.

For me, a good plain fucking can be really satisfying. There are days when that is brilliant. But for me they aren't enough on their own, over the long term.

It's not been a short process though, to get myself to the point that I can recognise it is a real, valid need within myself, and is as significant as my sex drive - I tend to liken it to a 'kink drive'. For a long time I saw it as something I'd had brief involvements with and liked, but if I got it, I got it and if not that was okay. I think a lot of that was attributed to the fact that (roughly at the same time) I had one relationship that was very kink-heavy, but a complete mindfuck and very bad for me, and one that was... well actually, he was as bad for me as she was... but the (vanilla) sex was very good...

So for a long time I think I began to equate BDSM in my own mind with excuses to treat me like shit. Eventually of course I broke that link, after realising that 'nilla partners had also behaved really poorly towards me, and also that the kink does not define the person or the behaviour.

It's hard to answer a question that is by it's nature, so hypothetical, but I don't think I would. At least not entirely. Maybe a lower kink drive (and sex drive I guess) - hell if we're wishing for things I'll wish for R's to increase! That makes more sense! Returning to the question, no I don't think I would sacrifice my kinks and fetishes to have only conventional sexual needs and desires, as they are too much a part of who I identify as being now.

NK x

Thursday, 19 August 2010

HNT... one lonely leg...

Be gentle though, I don't normally post, and y'know... my legs kinda suck!

NK x

Wednesday, 18 August 2010

Review: Ann Summers "Passion" Massage Lotion

R and I bought this massage oil quite a while ago when we were looking for a massage oil or bar as I'd been suffering from a painful back and shoulders(and still do, unfortunately). R is an absolute gem for working so hard to try and get my back into a liveable condition so often, and had been trying to work on it a little but with no oils, to little avail.

We set out, and figured Ann Summers was probably the most logical place to check out on our little mission, so headed to the high street. In Ann Summers, we found a range of oils. After sniffing the Lust and Love oils, and finding them not to our taste, we picked up the tester bottle of Passion oil, and immediately knew that was the one for us.

Having bought it (£8 for a 150ml bottle), we headed home. A closer look at the gorgeous, retro-styled label found that it claimed to be "lickable". Now, I am sure a great deal of attention was paid to ensuring that all the ingredients of this lotion were totally consumption-safe, but for the sake of your taste buds, I would strongly advise against it. It might smell divine, and while some of the notes from the fragrance do make it through in taste, there is an overwhelming bitter note that just makes the licker gag. (If that licker is me, anyway...)

The things we loved about it, however,way outnumber the sour taste. It's not especially sticky once it's been rubbed in, so going to sleep without showering it off wasn't unpleasant. As mentioned before, the smell is gorgeous, really tropical and refreshing, and a smell I'm happy to have dominate our boudoir! Lastly, the warming effect is nice when it's being used for massage to help sore bodies, as it seems to stimulate in a lot of the same ways the massage itself does.

All in all, a massage oil we turn to time and time again, and will keep buying.

Buy it at Ann Summers

NK x

Tuesday, 17 August 2010

BDSM and Me – Part 1: Roles.

Today I'm answering the first question from the series I'm currently partaking in; BDSM and Me.
What role(s) do you fit into within BDSM? If more than one, do you see one as your “primary” role?

I have always, since I first stumbled into kink, identified as a submissive. Even in my pre kink days, I'd always seek to be in the submissive role within sex, to be the person being told what to do, the fucked rather than the one in charge doing the fucking. Some people who know my kinky leanings are surprised as I can be quite bold in everyday life, and often take charge of situations; for me I wonder if it acts as a release or form of relaxation, to be told what to do and relinquish all control.

These days my submissive side is a little more certain than it used to be, and it's developed in many ways. From the little girl I was at 17 and the instinctive, almost primal responses I gave to those early spanks and wrist binds in rock clubs, to the sub I am now and the kinks I know I have now.

I've faced interesting dilemmas, especially recently, such as having a partner who is kinky, but not nearly to the same extent I am. It's probably only comparitively recently that I've realised I probably qualify as a bit of a masochist too, in that pain - in mild to moderate quantities - is really, really hot. I still say "mild-moderate" even though I'm the first person to say I don't believe something so innately subjective as pain can be quantified, because It's what, on my scale, is mild to moderate. On someone else's scale it would probably hurt like hell, and equally I could likely name a few friends who would laugh in the face of what I currently find to be nearing my limits!

I think that covers most elements of how I identify right now within BDSM and kink, but if you want to ask any questions feel free to comment here or fire away on my Formspring (you don't need to register). Likewise, follow me on Twitter and Facebook for regular updates and more of my wittering!

NK x

Monday, 16 August 2010

BDSM and Me: A 15 Part Series...

So, I got to thinking a few nights ago that I'd like to partake in a series of posts about my kinkier side and what it's about for me etc... I had a mooch around to see if there were any decent (and appropriate) memes or prompts to little avail, so I put one together. The individual questions were from other places though, some reworded, and many from

I intend on editing this post to update with the links for the posts as and when they're done :)


1. What role(s) do you fit into within BDSM? If more than one, do you see one as your “primary” role?

2. Would you sacrifice your kinks and fetishes if you could have only conventional sexual needs?

3. Are you comfortable in engaging in BDSM play with more than one person at a time in your life?

4. Your thoughts on BDSM clothing: fun, too many stereotypes, too expensive, too uncomfortable, boring?

5. What would you say have been (if any) mass and pop culture influences on your BDSM expectations, performance and desires?

6. In BDSM do you have needs and desires that you feel are wrong or immoral?

7. How do conventional physical sexual hungers fit into BDSM play for you?

8. Has your sexuality shifted over time, are there ways in which you wish you could modify your desires, needs?

9. Which BDSM writers and websites have been valuable for you or given you pleasure?

10. Have you ever let a Dominant push you into doing something you didn't want to do?

11. Have you ever been exposed as a sadist, masochist/submissive, or Dominant person? Have your kinks and fetishes become public knowledge against your will?

12. Pervertables: (A common household item, bargain from a shop or DIY project that you pervert for kinky fun) - do you have any and if so, what?

13. Can fetishes and BDSM acts be separated from male and female sexual identity?

14. How do you feel online D/s and kink play compares to real-world BDSM? Are they comparable?

15. What's your most longed-for experience?


NK x

Friday, 13 August 2010

On ice...

When I think back to myself as an eighteen year old, only recently introduced to the world of kink by my then on-off girlfriend, one occasion really stands out in my mind.

She'd mentioned BDSM to me not long before and I was still very much in the "unsure" phase. I knew instinctively I was naturally submissive, and that I probably had a small masochistic streak, but aside from that it was all incredibly alien to me; and I felt staggeringly out of my depth just thinking about it and the possibilities.

I found myself once again, in the rock club we frequented at the time, the thumping bass pounding through my body. I saw an all-too familliar glint in her eye as an idea sprung to mind. She knocked back more of her drink, and retrieved an ice cube from her mouth.

Grasping the cube, she slipped her hand down my top and into my bra. Positioning the ice cube directly on my nipple, she warned me to leave it. Or else. I flinched, hard. My nipple stood erect, sensitive and stinging from the intense cold. I closed my eyes for a second, only opening them to see another cube being slid into my left bra cup. Oh, God.

I protested; "But, I'll get a wet bra!"
Not convinced, or at least not caring, she replied that I would just have to fucking cope.

I did. It stung. My nipples were hard the rest of the night, and I can't pretend I'm not wet thinking about it now. There's a reason this is in the freezer now. [US - available here] ;)

NK x