BDSM and Me - Part 3: Play Partners.

Here I'll answer part three in my series BDSM and Me, the entire list can be accessed here...

Are you comfortable in engaging in BDSM play with more than one person at a time in your life?

(If that image makes no sense, look up the song ;) )

This is an interesting one, and one I think I've been putting off answering. I last talked about the issue I've been facing here - and I hoped to have made more headway on it by now.

In reality I still haven't exactly worked out where I am on the issue. As a quick recap, for those who didn't see that post, R and I have what can reasonably called a vanilla relationship. A discussion we had (holy shit) 3 weeks ago led to him mentioning he'd find it okay for me to play with kinky friends, in a non-sexual manner. (Which he already knows would never happen.)

Part of what is concerning me (hell, most of it) is the worry that it'd either feel like cheating for me, or that R would say, and perhaps think, he'd be alright with it, but in practice it'd be different. I do wonder if I'm being unfair in thinking that - I know he's more than capable of knowing his own mind and that he understands the difference.

In respect of play in it's own right happening with more than one person, I'm pretty certain that'd work well, and it wouldn't bother me at all... The only restriction to that is that I have to trust someone really well and have my own self confidence issues set well aside with that person before I can even consider play. Right now, I can say there's one person (putting aside R) who I can say with some certaintly I have that with.

So for now, my answer to the question is "I don't know". I think I am, but I have reservations - which I really want to work out in my own head and with R because I do have those needs and desires and it would be good to clear up my own head from this one.

NK x