Friday 31 July 2009

Hey folks! Just a quickie off me this evening, to let you know about what I recently got and will hopefully be reviewing on here soon...

I made a little LoveHoney order a while ago and got:

So hopefully some reviews very soon for those. I'm excited to try out the Dolphin as it seems really high quality for the price - silicone was once only for those willing to endure the hefty price tag! The LoveBunny was adorable, and I'm sort of curious about those ears, truth be told! As for the VibraExciter, I'm mostly looking forward to seeing my OH wind me up with it! I'm very tempted to go somewhere public and see how long we last before I drag him away somewhere to fuck his brains out... I also have a BIG box of goodies arriving tomorrow...

Over the next few days or so, I'll be hopefully getting at least 1 review out to you and also have a bit of a discussion blog I want to do as well... That's if all the above doesn't... er, get in the way, shall we say?

NK x

Monday 27 July 2009

Feeling Unsexy – Dealing with it or working on it?


Today I received an unwelcome surprise from Mother Nature. Now this may be too TMI for some, but I’ll gloss over it, naturally! Essentially, Aunt Flo shouldn’t have arrived for her monthly visit till Thursday, but she unpacked her bags and settled in today. This has made me undeniably cranky, but on the bright side explains why I’ve been a bitch for the last couple of days! (What a relief, it’s not just me being mean!)

It makes me cranky partially because of the aches and pains that come with it (but between my mug of sweet, milky tea, a giant aero bar and my hot water bottle, I’m working on that!) but also because of the enforced lack of sex. I could do with a really good seeing to right about now anyway so this was really badly timed. *growls*
Look, my tea. It’s fixing me, so it is! And it’s not a bad mug either! ;)
I know some women are happy – or at least willing at the bare minimum – to have sex during their period but I am not one of them. Firstly, in all honesty, the mess would put me off. Secondly though, I am generally a bundle of “eugh” during that time of the month, and the last thing on my mind is sex (I have to admit, that’s the only time of the month I can say that!)
Now when you’re single, feeling like that isn’t a problem. You can curl up with a hot water bottle and wrap yourself in a duvet and almost forget about sex and the like for the week… however when in a relationship, it’s not always that simple. I’m not saying we owe our partners sex or that we are obligated; but it’s difficult if they are horny as hell to tell them where to go! That isn’t, however, to say I never have told him to sod off when I’m feeling horrifically unsexy, but I feel fairly rotten for doing it. I mean, I'm sure there are plenty of times when he's felt tired or lathargic and for whatever reason didn't feel like it - but has still done it for me?
Yes, handjobs and blowjobs are always an option at that ‘time of the month’ – but I find that’s when the whole “feeling unsexy” issue really bites you on the arse. When you don’t feel sexy (or at least this is the case for me), you don’t feel like you’re capable, and what’s more – in my case at least – I know I get irritated. I don’t mean to, really, I don’t. In fact I hope this constitutes as an apology!
Part of this though, could be my own quirk – as I have blogged about before I am naturally very much towards the submissive side when it comes to sex and any kind of BDSM play, nothing makes me happier than to be told (nay, ordered, ideally!) what to do, get pushed around, restrained, spanked etc… Except with one thing. Blowjobs. I have mentioned briefly before that I have issues with them (I think I have at least!) I believe my problems stem from my very early sexual experiences, where oral was the one thing anyone tried to force me into. It was pure luck that I’m damned strong and could tell him where to go. Don’t get me wrong here – I don’t count it as anything terrible I’ve “endured” or anything, but it’s given me certain issues. Being aware of such things tends to help though and being into psychology, my way of thinking tends to work within how I can alter my own schemas etc and thus make my mind interpret the situation differently. I hope to report progress very soon. I feel like I have some making up to do to my man.
With all that said, I am curious as to how women feel – do you try to do things you really don’t feel like for the sake of knowing there are times when you know he can’t be arsed/is tired and still does it for you, or do you go with the fact that you really aren’t in the right mindset for it? And as for their partners; do you feel like they should just get on with it or do you think it’s fair enough if they feel unsexy and generally “off”?

 NK x

Thursday 23 July 2009

BDSM-themed musings...



I have discovered that reading example BDSM scenes is a bad idea, unless I want to get incredibly horny. No great surprise there, in fairness!

I was forumming earlier and stumbled across someone recommending a page on BDSM ‘for nice guys’ to another member, as she’d been having some trouble with getting her mr to indulge her in some BDSM play. I had a read through, and also of the other BDSM related parts of the site in question, and wanted to share it with you guys. I have to say, I found it very informative and would answer a whole heap of bondage-noob questions that I know I had at the start as well as making some interesting suggestions for a more experienced practitioner.

I would align myself as being somewhere in-between the two; I am nowhere near ‘experienced’ with it, however have definitely got past that initial stage of curiosity/nerves. Personally, I am very much a sub, and reading through that site reminded me of just how long it’s been since I was last restrained, tied up or similar… We even have new things in our drawer to try out but it hasn’t happened yet. One thing I am looking forward to doing is handing over the reins of a remote control vibrating egg I own to my mr some time soon, obviously in public. The thought of him teasing and controlling when I do and don’t get stimulation, and in a public place? Hot isn’t even the word. *fans self*

One thing that I think has hampered my getting more into BDSM with my other half is my lack of confidence. It annoys me no end when it strikes, but it’s something I’m conscious of and I’m working on. I’d certainly say I throw caution to the wind and just go for it so much more these days than ever before – and a great deal of that is having a partner who I know finds me sexy and also that I can trust implicitly – but I still need to allow myself to let go a little more. Ironic, in a way, as I do think that is why I am so naturally submissive, as it provides a release for me. I am quite a ‘big personality’ (I think that’s how you say it politely!) in everyday life, generally one to stand up and take charge of situations (though yes, horrifically indecisive) and thus being the opposite in my BDSM play provides a setting in which to be controlled and in that control, find a very real release. I find the whole scene odd though – I have always kept out of it as there’s something about the scene that... I don’t know… intimidates me, I think.

To be honest the people I’ve known who I am aware are part of the scene for it round here aren’t the best ambassadors for it at all. I also have always thought my natural insecurities and lack of confidence would be aggravated by the scene, hence my keeping well away from it. I guess in a strange way I’ve been loosely connected for some time though, was begged to do some bondage modelling a couple of years back, but at the time there was no way my confidence would have allowed it! In hindsight, it could have been an interesting experience, but I don’t regret turning it down, if only because I know I couldn’t have handled it at the time. Could have been a laugh though, and the money’s always handy! I would like to add a brief disclaimer to this post here – I am aware that not everyone on the BDSM scene are like the folk I have known, and I’m sure there are a lot of really cool people out there… But I am equally sure they’d still – intentionally or otherwise – intimidate the hell out of me!

NK x

Monday 13 July 2009

a little hello...

Right now we’re still stranded internet-less. It’s terribly frustrating! We have our BT line going in today (that’s another contentious issue, the woman from the lettings agency said there was a line already in and active… but now we’ve had to pay out £122.50 to get one put in? Harrumph, I say) and then I’m calling our new ISP tomorrow to see about getting back online. Could be anything from 2-4 weeks, according to their website. Still though, we’re finding ways and means of entertaining ourselves. Currently, though I’m a little bored. It’s 11.40 am and I got up at like 9. Doesn’t sound like long I know but with no one else up the time does drag a bit it’s fair to say. The OH is still snoozing, and seeing as we’ve been routinely waking at 6am then only managing to doze after that (thanks, LL, for the paper thin curtains – they’re especially fun at the ‘sunrise’ side of the house – where our BEDROOM is… cheers, really*), I’ve gone for letting sleeping boyfriends lay. *we have seen some very sexy black and red ones, a damask style number… but due to our leaky wood (make your own jokes to that) above our window… well we’re not buying them only for them to get ruined… One thing I’m really loving about this place though, is the living with the boyfriend. There wasn’t much action for the first few days due to a visit of the Mother Nature variety, but we seem to be more than making up for it now. The other day, we ran upstairs for a quickie while we waited for our dinner to cook (very fun, and only got disturbed by one particularly puppy-dog-like housemate *after* we’d finished, which was handy) and then that night… blew my mind. I’m certain I’ve mentioned on here before that my buzzy butt plug is, in my opinion, a must buy for anyone who enjoys anal (must check once I’m back online if I have reviewed it yet – I have a sneaking suspicion that I haven’t) and that night only confirmed what I knew; if anything I’d say it was even better than our previous run with it… ah, I do love a good ass fucking. *sigh* Haha, I forgot to mention a particularly cringe-worthy incident that occurred on moving day… My boyfriend’s dad and sister helped us move (my move was over a 2 separate days, on the moving day itself it was just me, the essentials and the toys (didn’t want parents moving them for me, it felt a bit weird)) and all was going well. I’d been very thorough to go through my toys and take all batteries out of any buzzy ones… or so I thought. We’d got to the house and either my boyfriend’s dad or sister had brought through my bags from the car while I’d been busy doing something else (possibly having a nervous breakdown) and when I came to take one of them upstairs to ditch them, I felt a buzzing coming from my bag. “FUCK” I believe was my first thought. I tried not to let it show on my face and dashed upstairs to find the offending item – a bang bang bunny that I’d forgotten to slip the triple A's out of. FAIL! Not sure if they noticed, but I rather hope they didn’t! As a last note, ive bought the mr a present from LoveHoney. I haven’t told him yet – he knows I got something the other day and has asked but I keep refusing to tell him for the time being… I cant say on here yet as he is a member of LH and may indeed get to here (if you read this, not that im saying you’re snooping, just y’know… :P) so for the time being the pressie shall stay unnamed. I’m currently still a bit chicken to either ask him if he likes the idea, or just get it out and start using it. It’s pretty mundane to be fair, and diamonds – if you’re reading this I think you got one for your OH. (The thing you had to get replaced)The reason in my case why I got it was not only cause if I had a dick I’d want to try it (and for that reason, I think he may like it) but also because I have a few issues in bed. I’m not going to deny that and I have overcome so much in the time I’ve been with the mr but there are certain things.. well a thing… that still really needs work. (And not to get to psychological on you here, but I’m working on what I think is a very sound psychological theory that if I alter the situation enough, it won’t fit my schema, and I’ll handle things better (for one particular thing this is) hell, maybe even really enjoy it!) Right, I’ve blithered long enough at you! Hope to be back online soon, so I can see you all again and so I can post this!

NK x

EDIT – JUST FOUND I *CAN* USE MY MOBILE AS A MODEM FOR VERY BASIC ACCESS! YOU CAN HAS BLOG! YAAAAAY!