tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-87684392088873413592024-03-19T05:01:15.098+00:00Nymphetamine KissI'm NymphetamineKiss and this is my SexBlog. I tend to write about sex toys and review them, discuss sex and sexuality issues, as well as what my boyfriend (R) and I get up to.NymphetamineKisshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10203270595892185184noreply@blogger.comBlogger131125truetag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8768439208887341359.post-89395620840139844272013-04-19T18:53:00.001+01:002013-04-19T18:53:58.766+01:00Review: UberKinky Squeezer Teaser Nipple Clamps<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.uberkinky.co.uk/squeezer-teaser-nipple-clamps-8514.html?___store=defaultuberkinky&acc=6364d3f0f495b6ab9dcf8d3b5c6e0b01"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd3g5DoIc-ekOcAnX06f2Ug4hQ28RtAEBCJHrX3wXBK5nami68_v6RiPCMAxcy3XTi-kiRQbCmp0GSbILZohI0c7yEXlNpqLD8_qPZ22_UZNv04WlaMHrg8IupSp6WZL7keEqU2Ou10EU/s1600/clamps_official.jpg" /></a></div>
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I was kindly sent the <a href="http://www.uberkinky.co.uk/squeezer-teaser-nipple-clamps-8514.html?___store=defaultuberkinky&acc=6364d3f0f495b6ab9dcf8d3b5c6e0b01" target="_blank">Squeezer Teaser Nipple Clamps</a>
for review by the lovely folks at UberKinky in exchange for an honest review.<br />
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These nipple clamps are of the Japanese clover clamp variety. Made of metal, they also have soft rubber tips and a cord to allow weights or attaching to anything else a sadists mind can think up. The grip, though adjustable, is quite intense but incredibly pleasurable - or at least if you have masochistic tenancies it certainly is.<br />
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When I received them, the clamps were in cardboard and plastic packaging, which being completely honest, cheapened the aesthetic. I've included a picture of them in the packaging for comparison. Were I to give a set of these as a gift, I would personally unpackage them and wrap them simply in tissue paper or similar to give a classier look.<br />
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<a href="http://www.uberkinky.co.uk/squeezer-teaser-nipple-clamps-8514.html?___store=defaultuberkinky&acc=6364d3f0f495b6ab9dcf8d3b5c6e0b01"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbRUyoQysU6yp-XvWXK1P9fZmKC6SfJNkXLyfy-QF254QAetajLDd8rrFIUiMkHenbYUsJRmbqp17oEBrK5Ki2u5BCYqxN6ABgLYsDyrdlUzB54YN3iyuEWKzvP-wkJVIqVL-7W32Wc9Q/s320/clamps1.JPG" width="239" /></a></div>
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Now, once out of the packaging I found these to be great. Of course, they're called nipple clamps but that really doesn't cover all the possibilities a creative sadist could think up - if you can pinch flesh, you can clamp it!<br />
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Now, it should be stated these probably aren't for those not keen on a little pain, and they are more intense than some other clamps I've tried. Saying that, if you're a fan of <a href="http://www.uberkinky.co.uk/sex-toys/nipple-play.html?___store=defaultuberkinky&acc=6364d3f0f495b6ab9dcf8d3b5c6e0b01" target="_blank">Nipple Play</a> they're a great investment and a true classic to add to any toybox.<br />
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So all in all, not great packaging, but look beyond that and you'll find a great bit of kit with real bite!<br />
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NK xxUnknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8768439208887341359.post-56385930033230100802013-01-08T01:42:00.000+00:002013-01-08T10:41:16.010+00:00Review: Kinklab Leather Vampire Gloves<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://bit.ly/ZzDRtU"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMKyfT-pp1mP8eLweXqC0qZaud3GnhgqBsdZqPytOaRQDlNrmZ2lsnDBELAOkjI070RrAP1IH5xR6bxPe8sq9Jt8pddtHxyFUWoSm2nvr1muWhXFGCgUK6RAzWmyo7FpebY_ON2GRsmek/s320/vampire.jpg" width="223" /></a></div>
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We purchased the <a href="http://bit.ly/ZzDRtU">Kinklab Leather Vampire Gloves</a> in April 2012, and with it being January 2013 now, I've taken a while to get to reviewing them! This long-overdue post is in part because of some minor issues developing with them, but more because we spend a lot of time at parties showing them to people and finding new converts wherever we take them! </div>
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The gloves are made from a soft, thin leather which flexes well with movement, the fingers adorned with prickly metal spikes. At first glance, they could seem like a scary prospect, however they really have a multitude of uses. More on that in a moment. </div>
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They're manufactured in sizes XS, S, M, L and XL, however the only UK stockist I know of (and the retailler we purchased the gloves from) <a href="http://bit.ly/ZzDRtU">SexToys.co.uk</a> offers them in XS, M and XL. We have the XL size, and both Master and I have large hands and find that while they are snug, they do fit. With that in mind, I would caution that if you have significantly larger-than-average hands you may struggle to fit into these.</div>
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<a href="http://bit.ly/ZzDRtU"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqHLyF_thw2aLy9zgEiUgwX08fMcWXPAM5YU2E2Sm-QJ-V_Ij0IUQGKBTJDVn3tTu-0JQNZi8TjFSC2hPENqKWMmyLuI3c6gmU2G4zYvJySf9LOgxAu3Yp8bD-riSTdIgUi-H2_OER7uQ/s1600/vampire2.jpg" /></a></div>
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Used gently, they make for excellent sensation play. Love the feeling of being scratched lightly (or not so lightly) with nails? You'll likely adore these. Nothing creates shivers down the spine like these gloves. If you want a more intense experience, they can provide a rougher scratch or if the user grips their subject while wearing the gloves, they offer a truly stinging sensation. If you're really itching for some more extreme sadomasochistic action, spanking with the <a href="http://bit.ly/ZzDRtU">Vampire Gloves</a> is a one-of-a-kind experience. Having received such spankings on several occasions, I can say they're high impact and <i>hurt</i>. They will also make you bleed. The subsequent dotty markings you're left with can take up to several weeks to fully disappear (but if you're a hard to mark sub who loves being marked - like me - that can be fantastic!) </div>
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Blood is an issue that needs raising with this particular bit of kit. In scratchy play, you run a risk of drawing blood with these, and spanking with them you're almost guaranteed to do so. With that in mind, if you're bothered by blood I'd advise against these gloves (or suggest exercising restraint with pressure in use), and it's worth remembering that blood borne disease is a risk if you opt to use them with multiple partners. </div>
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If you play at home you're free to make your own choices about blood and your comfort with it, but do be aware that fetish clubs usually have rules in place, and many of them have a "no blood drawn" policy. If in doubt, I'd advocate checking with the club owners or the Dungeon Master present. </div>
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Now, as we've owned them for 9 months at this stage, we've noticed some wear/issues cropping up. Firstly, some of the spikes have bent over in play. This may be attributable to them having been used to administer spankings. Secondly, some of the spikes have retracted into the glove and Master has to push them back through when he puts them on. The picture below should hopefully illustrate my points. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzHPWFgUavU5U7o09bK0jdIOM-KorrYyICs5GHbdsh0xSj2GKFXtKEp35HOmzbmrw2lHIeQqa-vBk0yV5iLsUi9r1mo9M-9S78nGoj9txGeY8vg4kUuUst76EVDjsM3f4_ygGiH9IfOHI/s1600/vg.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzHPWFgUavU5U7o09bK0jdIOM-KorrYyICs5GHbdsh0xSj2GKFXtKEp35HOmzbmrw2lHIeQqa-vBk0yV5iLsUi9r1mo9M-9S78nGoj9txGeY8vg4kUuUst76EVDjsM3f4_ygGiH9IfOHI/s320/vg.JPG" width="239" /></a></div>
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If you look carefully at the bottom of the pictured finger, the set of four spikes has retracted into the glove. Further up, a spike is bent flat. </div>
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Currently (and as far back as when we purchased them), the <a href="http://bit.ly/ZzDRtU">Kinklab Leather Vampire Gloves</a> retail for £29.95 at <a href="http://bit.ly/ZzDRtU">SexToys.co.uk</a>. Even with the faults we're starting to notice, we still feel this is decent value, as they're one of our favourite items in Master's kit. He really enjoys using them, and they're both adored and feared by me! </div>
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If you want your very own set of <a href="http://bit.ly/ZzDRtU">Vampire Gloves</a>, they're <a href="http://bit.ly/ZzDRtU">available here</a> for £29.95 (price correct at time of writing) </div>
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NK x</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8768439208887341359.post-41621313692947529602013-01-05T01:04:00.000+00:002013-01-05T01:04:10.643+00:00Review: Jack Boot Print Wooden Spanking Paddle<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="http://bit.ly/110ujIZ"><img border="0" height="148" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg573qGa5kt0pFFj4D2zJoQ-3aiWO31VsGJT7BQolPEzKxbnZowqRWMiFpWhrlFLFvIeR9l_tAhnVGJfAN39wFJaH7ewKnExTWplRWVx8NtCDr3UJqHVvdXG74aW7cZ1_pP8pqPrpM5Vw8/s320/jack+boot.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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We'd been eyeing the <a href="http://bit.ly/110ujIZ">Jack Boot Print Wooden Spanking Paddle</a> for a while when we saw that Lovehoney had included it in their post-Christmas sale. When we spotted that they also intended to discontinue the paddle (at least at Lovehoney), we had to have it.<br />
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Made by Icon Brands under the Raging Stallion <br />
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The <a href="http://bit.ly/110ujIZ">Jack Boot paddle</a> certainly isn't a beginner friendly bit of kit; measuring just short of 19" and bearing a UK size 12 boot sole in thick rubber (so yes, it does smell of rubber, a little like a shoe shop), and hitting just short of a freight train. But more on that later. The rubber sole is mounted on a fairly standard, if large, wooden paddle (so easily doubles up for standard paddle usage), and as such should be noted, this has pretty much <i>no give</i>.<br />
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For the sake of truly understanding what those dimentions will mean in your hand, I took a comparitive picture with a Sky+ remote: <br />
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<a href="http://bit.ly/110ujIZ"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg83RDo1mNvsiY39h1LI79GDTvZPny1z9jOo4I3N-bbMsUXbH3rt-A1lDrzCaue63tkuyuaBOtRw8ZmizldJasGM2fCqrk7TxXuzcKLZdxy-MF-038aCT_jLq_2RNXXouSv54ocVHqIAmo/s320/jack+boot+3.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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As for your testers, Master and I have been into kink for quite a while, and Master's toy bag is overflowing. As such, we've reached a point where we only really want to add different items to the bag. A standard flogger, cane or paddle doesn't hold much appeal when we already have such a wide variety of toys. This is not your standard paddle. I mentioned the dimensions above, and while it does feel lighter than expected given the sheer size of the monster, it's a paddle I could imagine a smaller Dom struggling to wield with adequate control. <br />
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Speaking as the submissive on the receiving end of the <a href="http://bit.ly/110ujIZ">Jack Boot paddle</a>, I can safely say in play it truly is like no other. Paddles of different materials always feel different, but the addition of a rubber boot sole with a deep tread, makes for an utterly unique sensation. Part of this may be that my Master is rather sadistic and hits like a truck anyway, but this is by far the most painful paddle I have experienced.<br />
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<a href="http://bit.ly/110ujIZ"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_vsdDwsqylL4H2lzGRkDZqG1at8mK2LIgudv2lKV75iwrZt9ZqWAoXRtOm1WuIhtNc1eC5KAqsmW5f7YrhinNAkYZvFgBouULZWWbMALR8fSoscPRN-Zr3H7dDiSs1X4A8RZvHND4cho/s320/jackbootHR.jpg" width="144" /></a></div>
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I am generally a fan of thuddy pain, and tolerate stingy pain much less well. My relationship with this paddle is, as such, slightly confused. It does hit much thuddier than other paddles I've known, but on top of that there is a white-hot sting that tears the breath from me.<br />
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So far, the hits I've received haven't left a lasting imprint of a boot on my behind, but then I am very hard to mark. As such, I intend to update this review once we've been able to try it on a friend who marks much more easily than I do.<br />
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Master really enjoyed using this on me, and as much as it <i>hurts like hell</i>, I enjoyed receiving it. The construction seems fantastic, everything is very secure and nothing seems frayed or poorly attached so I'm fairly confident this will remain part of our kit for many years to come, taking the wind from subs wherever it may strike!<br />
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I would recommend the <a href="http://bit.ly/110ujIZ">Jack Boot paddle</a> to experienced players who want something new and different to add to their kit, but would advise caution to those who are less experienced. Old hat or fresh meat though, I'd advise this is a one to know your own strength on, get a feel for how it hits, and use accordingly! <br />
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It's disappointing to see Lovehoney won't be stocking it anymore, though I can imagine it being intimidating to fetish-newbies, so perhaps that has affected sales. However, a number of other stockists do still offer the Jack Boot such as <a href="http://bit.ly/110xOir">SexShop365</a>. <br />
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Overall, we love this!<br />
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NK x<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8768439208887341359.post-66087744344741027922012-12-19T21:59:00.004+00:002012-12-19T21:59:49.390+00:00Review: Dreamgirl Black Diamond Plus Size Fishnet Garter Dress<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://bit.ly/12AP642"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLaXMbVxZlsdYXesJF_2PfSVg8tEjMv8U3bKil0c_nqZ4INaQyowKSw7sSu7yFWiNzPS-SEYuLj1MfmlppKKc-57XGmi2Dc0Ue1DLmr98IgB706UJLyVz5WlFCI02zyisA9RktZKUgkfw/s320/red-fishnet-1.jpg" width="214" /></a></div>
I was sent the <a href="http://bit.ly/12AP642">Dreamgirl Black Diamond Plus Size Fishnet Garter Dress</a> for review by <a href="http://bit.ly/12AP642">Lovehoney</a>. I had meant to get this review up sooner, but shingles has kicked by butt!<br />
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This is the first garment of it's type that I have owned. Being a big girl, it's only really in the last few years I've started venturing into more daring lingerie as I have developed better body acceptance. <br /><br />First out of the packaging, it looks tiny, in the same way a pair of tights look doll-sized before you get them on. Don't panic, with it being fishnet, that is to be expected and you'll be surprised how much it stretches and conforms to your body. This also means if you're going away for a night, it takes up barely any space in your luggage, which could prove to be very handy indeed. <br /><br />First of all, this calls itself a "dress". Maybe on a slimmer girl you could call it that, but I'd say it's a lot closer to a body stocking, as it's made of fishnet. Speaking of slimmer girls, you'll notice the promotional shots I have for this are of a particularly slim woman. The pictures <a href="http://bit.ly/12AP642">Lovehoney</a> use are of a curvier, yet (in my opinion) by no means "plus size" woman for the "queen size" listing of this dress. I am presuming this is what Dreamgirl see as "larger".<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://bit.ly/12AP642" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="263" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPBrDkERTN_jUZt4FY-1cDgJFHNF0_2CcIjgJZvqG-FzGB9EC5lQqBizAlHzKfRUcNkfmBFhIq_w_VXOZfvbe5QRolzjeg48mWIDYmkMWdbsi9CD_Om8fhDRquDgFxcsKTfNMIzbI3mpw/s320/red-fishnet-3.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://bit.ly/12AP642">Screenshot of Lovehoney's product page and model.</a></td></tr>
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<br />Now, as I am 5'11" and fluctuate between 22 and 26 depending on the outfit, I got the "One Size Queen", which is stated as fitting UK 18-24. I am aware that in terms of clothes size this should be the right size for me, but that in height I am outside the "normal" range of women by a couple of inches or so. <br /><br />With that said, I found that the fit of the garment overall was much better than expected. The legs are long enough (near enough a miracle), nothing looks too short and everything I'd expect to be covered (or as covered as a fishnet body stocking dress will do), but the shoulders are a problem area. I have fairly average size shoulders for my overall build, but found that the shoulders on this slip, a lot. In reality, it's up to you to judge whether that'd bother you or if what else you might be getting up to at the time would distract you sufficiently! <br />
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<a href="http://bit.ly/12AP642"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0NkVVhKw4Bc0y-KuSHA2uE_Wtg6MhfNECeSEdJWWVR3pJDiEJ3sInIByWeRe5hT27fLendNM741ZmnhrOxYJhISAv50Twd4KMOodtpeTNWzZBgkHvmUR0SD7VCUnOBl86SG7254QS3BM/s320/red-fishnet-2.jpg" width="210" /></a></div>
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Considering it is made of fishnet material, it's less scratchy and more comfortable than one might expect. I like the way it's all in one, as stockings and suspenders can be awkward to find in plus sizes. <br />
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In terms of where I'd wear it, I'd certainly pick it out for the bedroom. The design means you have the option to allow your partner very easy access and it's definitely raunchy. My partner said he found it very sexy. I could see this being worn to sex or kink parties, at least by the more daring attendees! <br />
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Overall, not the type of attire I'd normally pick out for myself, but something a bit different and provided you're comfortable with your shape, something I'd recommend trying. <br />
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<b>PROS </b>- Comfortable, sexy, small when not worn for easy packing.<br /><b>CONS </b>- Shoulders are a problem area for fit.<br /><b>OVERALL </b>- Mostly a good, if daring, choice. Shoulders will fall down.<br />
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<i>The <a href="http://Dreamgirl Black Diamond Plus Size Fishnet Garter Dress">Dreamgirl Black Diamond Plus Size Fishnet Garter Dress</a> is available for purchase from <a href="http://Dreamgirl Black Diamond Plus Size Fishnet Garter Dress">Lovehoney</a>, who kindly sent me the dress in exchange for an honest review. </i></div>
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NK xUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8768439208887341359.post-29478867499086323852012-09-25T18:51:00.000+01:002012-09-25T18:51:19.440+01:00Toy with me Tuesday: Glass on Glass<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOZkR_1FI87etcL6swVSPUlnUtA7x5AxE2rMNbNB_vf2jG-dbRcdfDzKaaeBETzaQ8DwI_rNwGK2OMNRlg73NQBvw9c8rGs0STJGnPX0IVQriQy41LxmXZOcs1N79RVrjPvMnFfC293hs/s1600/plug.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOZkR_1FI87etcL6swVSPUlnUtA7x5AxE2rMNbNB_vf2jG-dbRcdfDzKaaeBETzaQ8DwI_rNwGK2OMNRlg73NQBvw9c8rGs0STJGnPX0IVQriQy41LxmXZOcs1N79RVrjPvMnFfC293hs/s400/plug.JPG" width="298" /></a></div>
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We haven't lived here too long. The kitchen windows have a metal grate against them for security, but it's actually kind of pretty. Plus, glass toys are always beautiful, to me. </div>
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<i>See more of this week's offerings:</i></div>
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<a href="http://nymphomaniacness.blogspot.co.uk/p/toy-with-me-tuesday.html" title="Toy with me Tuesday"><img alt="Toy with me Tuesday" src="http://i1168.photobucket.com/albums/r500/NymphomaniacNess/toywithmetuesday.jpg" style="border: none;" /></a></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8768439208887341359.post-30376735715064368132012-09-23T18:24:00.000+01:002012-09-23T18:24:05.596+01:00Sinful Sunday: Cherries<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBpfXmkungtDPxiPxfECQgfJhNCPgdvQ_7ZFmYq0dvtQzVNVrVgF6G2RTWG7ErbqA1_kjXmRuJmfJT69RpYjUIz0Wft7S-_0PrM1wrKNnshovNG3by8uIlWSdYL4xXZaJkuKKwUpKVmUs/s1600/hands.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBpfXmkungtDPxiPxfECQgfJhNCPgdvQ_7ZFmYq0dvtQzVNVrVgF6G2RTWG7ErbqA1_kjXmRuJmfJT69RpYjUIz0Wft7S-_0PrM1wrKNnshovNG3by8uIlWSdYL4xXZaJkuKKwUpKVmUs/s400/hands.JPG" width="298" /></a></div>
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This week we wanted to keep it simple.</div>
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I love this scarf. I love being tied. Simple. </div>
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<i>See who else is being sinful this Sunday...</i></div>
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<a href="http://sinfulsunday.mollysdailykiss.com/" title="Sinful Sunday"><img alt="Sinful Sunday" src="http://sinfulsunday.mollysdailykiss.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/sinfulsunday.jpg" style="border: none;" title="Sinful Sunday" /></a></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8768439208887341359.post-24340895229177888872012-09-17T20:33:00.000+01:002012-09-22T03:51:53.795+01:00September Deals and Bargains! This is something I'm planning to make a more regular feature; a round up of what's out there in terms of discounts, special offers and deals with some fantastic retaillers.<br />
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As the darker evenings draw in, what better time to snap up a few sexy deals to warm up the fun way? So here we have it, my summary of some of the hottest offers right now... <br />
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<img alt="Click here to visit Simply Pleasure" border="0" height="160" src="http://images.uk.paidonresults.net/17973/540/0/14" width="320" /></div>
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<a href="http://bit.ly/S0gsZt">Simply Pleasure</a> are offering two current discount codes this month:</div>
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15% off all orders of £30 or more [WARMER15OFF]</div>
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20% off all orders of £55 or more [WARMER20OFF]</div>
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All orders over £10 qualify for free delivery as always and they have some truly fantastic deals available such as the <a href="http://bit.ly/S0gf8w">Rocks Off RO80mm bullet at just £3.45</a> - a staggering 70% off what I consider to be the best bullet on the market hands down! (Actually the entire <a href="http://bit.ly/S0h4xY">Rocks Off Better Than Half Price Sale</a> (including big hitters like the Rock Chick and Rude Boy) is amazing on price!) </div>
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<a href="http://www.paidonresults.net/c/17973/20/478/0"><img alt="SexToys.co.uk Our passion is your pleasure" border="0" height="79" src="http://images.uk.paidonresults.net/17973/478/0/20" width="640" /> </a></div>
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Sex Toys UK are offering a deal tailored especially for 50 Shade fans; the <a href="http://bit.ly/S0iGYE">Fifty Shades of Play bundle</a>. Containing a pair of love balls, a blindfold, bondage tape and a paddle to experience some real-life kink. The toys normally retail at £56.99 total, but <a href="http://bit.ly/NbqOKb">Sex Toys UK</a> are currently offering the lot for just £25! </div>
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<a href="http://www.paidonresults.net/c/17973/692/358/0"><img alt="Lovehoney Sexy Toys" border="0" height="81" src="http://images.uk.paidonresults.net/17973/358/0/692" width="640" /> </a></div>
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<a href="http://bit.ly/KtSohZ">Lovehoney</a> have LOTS going on right now...</div>
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<a href="http://www.paidonresults.net/c/17973/1333/358/0/special-offers/1645/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="10% off when you buy 2 items from the Bondage Boutique range" border="0" height="78" src="http://images.uk.paidonresults.net/17973/358/0/1333" width="640" /></a></div>
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Don't forget all <a href="http://bit.ly/O9bYVA">Bondage Boutique</a> items come with their very own loyalty scheme!</div>
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<a href="http://www.paidonresults.net/c/17973/1301/358/0/special-offers/1642/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="2 for £30 on selected Seven til Midnight Lingerie " border="0" height="76" src="http://images.uk.paidonresults.net/17973/358/0/1301" width="640" /></a> </div>
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The sexy <a href="http://bit.ly/O9cnHv">Seven 'til Midnight</a> range is currently 2 for £30. The range includes gorgeous plus size pieces, of which I own a few!</div>
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<a href="http://www.paidonresults.net/c/17973/1350/358/0/product.cfm?p=24948"><img alt="Free Love Bullet Vibe worth £4.99 when you buy Fifty Shades of Grey" border="0" height="320" src="http://images.uk.paidonresults.net/17973/358/0/1350" width="206" /></a><a href="http://www.paidonresults.net/c/17973/1349/358/0/product.cfm?p=25131"><img alt="Free Bondage Boutique Soft Blindfold with Fifty Shades Darker" border="0" height="320" src="http://images.uk.paidonresults.net/17973/358/0/1349" width="206" /></a><a href="http://www.paidonresults.net/c/17973/1348/358/0/product.cfm?p=25132"><img alt="Free Lady Lustfinger Mini Vibrator with Fifty Shades Freed" border="0" height="320" src="http://images.uk.paidonresults.net/17973/358/0/1348" width="204" /> </a></div>
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All the books in the Fifty Shades trilogy come with freebies! </div>
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*Note the free item on book 1 has been switched to a beginners vibrating finger ring.</div>
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<a href="http://bit.ly/O9dqag"><img border="0" height="419" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikgB8wk9XTCNxJxD85VzOM9nfSM_EJvqKng8BWGVoR8RBDYGfh4qzkJ8wqiDnnYGPa1WcZ1Odf5aJgsFA59VBHnQefiSHE6V_c9YJsoguN4h5WmrAfvNqrdr0isyIA1CGKRo7gx9ByGB4/s640/intoodeep.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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Graduated from Fifty Shades? Get a Lovehoney 10 speed Dream Bullet free with <a href="http://bit.ly/O9dqag">In Too Deep by Portia Da Costa</a> - worth £9.99!</div>
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I hope you all get some fabulous, sexy bargains as we head into autumn!</div>
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NK x</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8768439208887341359.post-21410267768627271262012-09-16T19:55:00.001+01:002012-09-16T19:58:48.183+01:00Sinful Sunday: Never Naked<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjUQ4ApLaan21eIDaGsCJsqFfCrHjoe46KeWvYhOHT3KhvzAHjuR0tw1vD8sTK0rpoDRWLNZ5V7NXvAzmq_ECQ2IGR88s6fYB86a5VPPM6GUtmy3PLSDUvLqCPXb9fK92cYggTd8ixj-c/s1600/collar.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjUQ4ApLaan21eIDaGsCJsqFfCrHjoe46KeWvYhOHT3KhvzAHjuR0tw1vD8sTK0rpoDRWLNZ5V7NXvAzmq_ECQ2IGR88s6fYB86a5VPPM6GUtmy3PLSDUvLqCPXb9fK92cYggTd8ixj-c/s400/collar.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
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I'm never truly naked with my collar. </div>
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Master collared me early this year and I've worn this since. To be without it would feel incredibly wrong to me. It's discrete enough to wear day to day without suspicion or questions. </div>
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In times of stress, worry or sadness, my collar is my link to him, to feel him near me even when we are physically apart. </div>
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<i>Click to see who else took part this week...</i></div>
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<a href="http://sinfulsunday.mollysdailykiss.com/" title="Sinful Sunday"><img alt="Sinful Sunday" src="http://sinfulsunday.mollysdailykiss.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/sinfulsunday.jpg" style="border: medium none;" title="Sinful Sunday" /></a></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8768439208887341359.post-45078303030801894612012-09-14T00:30:00.001+01:002012-09-14T00:37:03.179+01:00Memories linger.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjogL5vIHF6GG6SrhcUEVXmf3mBnoBYt_xMb9PLAoXqfQQTVfQJLyrUAG4uCLEpei3Xszn7fCdiuHw6tRb91KTiSx4qRXH4m4dOHKFyLwP66eyWBnbmBUkzzQmEecZbrd1MomRKgaX0_fw/s1600/rose.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjogL5vIHF6GG6SrhcUEVXmf3mBnoBYt_xMb9PLAoXqfQQTVfQJLyrUAG4uCLEpei3Xszn7fCdiuHw6tRb91KTiSx4qRXH4m4dOHKFyLwP66eyWBnbmBUkzzQmEecZbrd1MomRKgaX0_fw/s320/rose.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/dibytes/5738936410/">Flickr</a></div>
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<br />
My mind keeps being drawn back to a not-so-distant memory.<br />
A memory of a bed, and those within it.<br />
The memory of how a kiss can echo throughout a person.<br />
The way your moans channeled into my mouth. <br />
How the early dawn light illuminated your body. <br />
I remember the feel of you.<br />
I remember the taste.<br />
The intake of breath at just - that - moment as he filled you so.<br />
I remember how your breath felt on my cunt. <br />
I remember finally giving in, abandoning my nerves and kissing you.<br />
Passionately.<br />
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And I want it again.<br />
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I want you again.<br />
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NK xUnknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8768439208887341359.post-75378864251930669722012-08-23T23:07:00.001+01:002012-08-23T23:11:08.171+01:00BDSM is Domestic Violence? Really?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcnm0HOIn5K4mkv5hccObxkv9TF2NvoFU1NzV-K1LL0vpnHQokiP8Jb_ZxWMaS6dBs-ySz0ccQPz0k7gKY5HDyHRlktMYDh2wipek3ORozXb4JStJFDYNvrrvE9-rK6_7AbzWd7tKupTU/s1600/burnit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="270" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcnm0HOIn5K4mkv5hccObxkv9TF2NvoFU1NzV-K1LL0vpnHQokiP8Jb_ZxWMaS6dBs-ySz0ccQPz0k7gKY5HDyHRlktMYDh2wipek3ORozXb4JStJFDYNvrrvE9-rK6_7AbzWd7tKupTU/s320/burnit.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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I read today that a charity based not far from me is planning a "50 Shades bonfire" on the 5th November, and is calling for women to hand over their copies to be burned.<br />
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Reading <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-19354560">the article</a>, Clare Phillipson, who is the Director of <a href="http://www.wearsidewomeninneed.org.uk/">Wearside Women in Need</a> is quoted as saying: "I do not think I can put into words how vile I think this book is and
how dangerous I think the idea is that you get a sophisticated but
naive, young women and a much richer, abusive older man who beats her up
and does some dreadful things to her sexually."<br />
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She goes on to label consentual BDSM as "domestic violence". <br />
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I was appalled to hear the life I lead judged so harshly. I felt compelled to try to advise her of the reality of consentual kink and the relationships within it via the <a href="http://www.wearsidewomeninneed.org.uk/index.php?option=com_contact&Itemid=18">contact us</a> link on the charity's site. <br />
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In my email I said:<br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Dear Ms Phillipson<br />
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I am writing to you to alert you to the offense caused by your statements to BBC news as published on their website here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-19354560. <br />
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I am a lifestyle submissive woman in a D/s relationship. This is a relationship I entered consentually, and any and all activities carried out between my partner and I are fully consentual. <br />
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I greatly enjoy the pleasure I receive through these consentual activities. <br />
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To read these judgemental comments about a lifestyle many men and women in the North East are involved in was deeply offensive and disheartening. Most relationships in the kink scene are fully consentual and non abusive, but as with vanilla relationships, occasionally some do go bad. These women should feel they would be able to turn to WWIN, however I can say with some conviction I doubt many would after seeing the standpoint your organisation has taken against the lifestyle we lead. <br />
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I hope you will seek to enlighten yourself further to the healthy, fulfilling lifestyles others lead, and endeavour to make yourself more tollerant. <br />
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Regards<br />
[name]</blockquote>
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I do hope she will reconsider her standpoint, although my gut instinct says this seems unlikely. Should I receive a reply, I will post it here.<br />
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How do you feel seeing her take on the kinky lifestyle? Am I the only one who is shocked and disappointed? It really seems like kinky people, especially women, have less and less services we can use and be open about who we are and what we do. <br />
<br />
NK xUnknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8768439208887341359.post-18055926727257409512012-08-23T03:21:00.000+01:002012-08-23T03:21:11.169+01:00Consent: Not Optional. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiB9x4cKh3LMVJjMB2Ow18XRqGybGCndr_jyP9zInEnlYz_yChOTzXaZ0G_PZnfPj8Uu0sYtXVumRfup_eKDbuHOvW5N5PPt24650gcESZYDgMai8euDOsKLvCwwIIcC1Xav4bKMk1Lvj4/s1600/consent.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiB9x4cKh3LMVJjMB2Ow18XRqGybGCndr_jyP9zInEnlYz_yChOTzXaZ0G_PZnfPj8Uu0sYtXVumRfup_eKDbuHOvW5N5PPt24650gcESZYDgMai8euDOsKLvCwwIIcC1Xav4bKMk1Lvj4/s320/consent.jpg" width="250" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/zoonabar/5822104430/">Flickr</a> // <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/deed.en_GB">CC</a></div>
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Recently consent has been a hot topic in the fetish community. It is, of course, always of significance, but recently there doesn't seem to have been a day without someone else chiming in on the issue. Now for those who are on FetLife, I'm sure I don't need to go into the full background of recent accusations, and that's not what this post is meant to be about - I don't have a great deal to contribute in regard to communities I'm not involved in, and situations I have no knowledge of. Suffice to say I do think these discussions are important and abuses of consent always need to be challenged.<br />
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What I want to write about today is the application of consent.<br />
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So, you've been on the scene a while (maybe six months, maybe six years, who knows), and you're pretty confident you have it all down. You can debate everything from consent issues, to play styles, to edgier forms of kink with finesse.<br />
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And that's great.<br />
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But here's the thing. In all those discussions on why you need to ensure consent is given, did you actually sit back and think "Hey, this applies to me!"? Becasuse you damn well should have.<br />
<br />
Consent applies to you.<br />
Consent applies to me.<br />
Consent applies to every single one of us.<br />
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It doesn't matter if you're especially "well liked" or well respected in the local "scene". It doesn't matter if you run your own parties or just attend. It doesn't matter if you're 18 or 80. It doesn't matter if s/he's your sub, partner or whatever-other-status. It just doesn't.<br />
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<b>I'm getting sick of hearing of people brushing off consent violations. </b><br />
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Unwanted touch MATTERS. Breaking limits MATTERS. Using deception or manipulation to gain "consent" MATTERS.<br />
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Just promise me this; the next time you're engaged in some kind of act (whether that be you physically performing an act upon someone, having them perform it on you, or commanding them to do something), sit back for a second and make sure you <b>know</b>, beyond reasonable doubt, that s/he wants you to be doing this. If you can, great. If you have doubts, check in and be prepared to stop right that goddamn second.<br />
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Trust me when I say being sexually pressured into unwanted acts, or being nonconsentually touched in any way, shape or form, stays with a person. It will colour their view of you, and worst of all, it might make them see themselves differently*.<br />
<br />
NK x<br />
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<i>*No one should ever feel guilty or responsible for that which was forced upon them, but many assualt survivors and those who have been in some way violated, do. </i>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8768439208887341359.post-25823467495201886442012-05-11T21:06:00.000+01:002012-05-11T21:07:24.874+01:00Review: Durex Love Box<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://bit.ly/IRUfOS"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiInbAF2NWaQSwVhdnC-6wMhSWGxrm1uqNlGmQ8v8qVB_l83uijeelRCTDPs4cfN0MgUeZEqMd4UwYoiffPOlqOHO_54waA63ZB_3J1uJeW1S8_HY3GC6eEiHPNZnsHwolclaPfiIq00a4/s320/durex+love+box.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
I bought Waz and I a <a href="http://bit.ly/IRUfOS">Durex Love Box</a> each a few weeks ago. Since then, they've become a staple in our bags. We don't use condoms together but do so religiously when sleeping with others outside our relationship, both for STI protection and an extra layer of pregnancy protection.<br />
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We're not especially loyal to any one brand of condom, preferring to buy whatever appeals or is on offer at the time - provided it's kite marked of course - so what really attracted us to this product was the tins rather than the included condoms.<br />
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The tins themselves come in a variety of colours and styles - eight are offered at <a href="http://bit.ly/IRUfOS">Lovehoney</a>, styles are selected at random - which means for us as we have two different tins we know which tin is ours.<br />
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The tins are nice and sturdy so far, not showing any signs of damage. A big part of why we bought these was due to the fact that condoms kept in wallets or purses run the risk of damage over any length of time, so to carry some on us the majority of the time without that risk was a real benefit.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfNMn5eci42CcWIOkyf5GTytqxhRVrM8x6luth8KzpOwkhmFSuC2i5GJHFenFwHQFk-xxaNkiB2uxiA7nUwNAfBE7eUCrYItB7snwq5EVHN3BNx_2OB6B4qbJuZADTOEE0xoF0znLr-bM/s1600/durex+love+box+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfNMn5eci42CcWIOkyf5GTytqxhRVrM8x6luth8KzpOwkhmFSuC2i5GJHFenFwHQFk-xxaNkiB2uxiA7nUwNAfBE7eUCrYItB7snwq5EVHN3BNx_2OB6B4qbJuZADTOEE0xoF0znLr-bM/s320/durex+love+box+2.jpg" width="320" /> </a></div>
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The tins come with three durex condoms in them already, and a small informational leaflet which explains more about the love boxes. Once this leaflet is removed, I have found up to five condoms will fit in the box - though this is highly dependent on brand and style as some (for example <a href="http://bit.ly/KR4Yop">Skyns</a>) are thicker packets. </div>
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The bottom line is that I'd recommend anyone who uses condoms on a regular or semi-regular basis would benefit from the reassurance having your protection protected brings!</div>
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The <a href="http://bit.ly/IRUfOS">Durex Love Box is available at Lovehoney for £3.49</a> and comes with three condoms.</div>
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NK x</div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8768439208887341359.post-57937588171332792422012-05-09T01:27:00.002+01:002012-05-09T01:30:22.769+01:00Review: Lovehoney Bondage Boutique Wrapped Rattan Cane<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="http://bit.ly/L4RR4T"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl_RtJ8kQicNoQmkuTDKdqBC5lhxV5sp7XvrgKmW5js0SdAdN-xh9LjHryYtkDM7IcXQp6MQyCgmLD2kVejtQrYaQ3Pq0JLekuvtqWFEnpJJVCB0y2A8dZfdpup7YHzoiVDR1UKNj1dP4/s320/BB+Rattan+Cane.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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We got this cane some time ago, in fact it was actually our first forray into the caning world! We selected the <a href="http://bit.ly/L4RR4T">Bondage Boutique Wrapped Rattan Cane</a> as our first cane for a number of reasons.<br />
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Firstly, it is an inexpensive item costing £9.99 and as it is from the <a href="http://bit.ly/LIzSEa">Bondage Boutique</a> range, every purchase means more stamps to stick on your card - which then becomes redeemable for free spankers (we recently claimed two free spankers of our own through the scheme).<br />
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Secondly, as we were (obviously) at the time totally new to caning we wanted something relatively simple, basic and unintimidating. Neither of us really had a basis for knowing what caning was going to feel like and as such, something fairly average seemed logical. We got it in black, though it's also available in pink. <br />
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Thirdly, it being a rattan cane wrapped in a "smooth plastic coating", we felt assured it would be fairly study and shouldn't splinter or break - something that has, thus far, held true.<br />
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<a href="http://bit.ly/LIzSEa"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEu5lpoBKPNFUB6OUjdqQ7_sQXjuunTJBxYWjiz3HeOuqEyNf4e8meYbPvt0cAnwnw3Ku6vR4eQzU_zKk-ja7j_yDnJrLyBfU_-dGzawPpKCptSfKY68azzBp1I0mQD08siHsbqHitPH8/s320/BB+Free+Spanker+Card.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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So, in use? I am the submissive in our relationship and while I do admit I like pain, canes scare me a bit! There's a lot of flexibility to the cane, and this allows a great deal of control in the intensity of the strikes. At 27.5 inches in length, it feels long enough without being unwieldy and the 0.25 inch diameter makes it a moderately thick cane (the thinner the cane, the stingier, in general).<br />
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It does have a slight bend to it over time, though the extent to which your cane will do so is likely to have a lot to do with how well it is stored - keep it bend for too long and it will begin to retain the shape it's kept in. <br />
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We found it to be a great starter cane, but be aware if you're new to caning - in terms of pain and potential "ouch" this is a significant step up from spanking or flogging and with any real force behind it, it will leave red welts. I'd personally recommend a decent warm-up first (spanking, flogging and paddling all help) to allow for the caning to have a touch less shock to it. The only real negative to this cane versus the canes we have subsequently acquired is that this doesn't have any sort of handle, and the ones that do are probably a touch easier to handle, though the lack of one doesn't negatively impact the toy in a significant way.<br />
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All in all, a good basic cane I'd recommend - especially to those new to the art of caning. Not too pricey, unintimidating and from a brand I trust.<br />
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It's available from <a href="http://bit.ly/L4RR4T">Lovehoney for £9.99</a> with free delivery. <br />
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NK xUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8768439208887341359.post-84189692054612602142012-02-13T19:59:00.000+00:002012-02-13T19:59:16.863+00:00Letter to Master<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBMAuddeY__Q47_4HpLsp-28QKI6R7aKFFZt7q4C3mxYM_HMcOKZfh110UBkJb5ZGih1LyJVsQmrEhc3IPrscuZcVVBD7dpZdAcJcQJUglPLoZrXKQ6m5u9qFuPkCnn-mYqcdCsN10pfA/s1600/letters.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="241" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBMAuddeY__Q47_4HpLsp-28QKI6R7aKFFZt7q4C3mxYM_HMcOKZfh110UBkJb5ZGih1LyJVsQmrEhc3IPrscuZcVVBD7dpZdAcJcQJUglPLoZrXKQ6m5u9qFuPkCnn-mYqcdCsN10pfA/s320/letters.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/thed34n/6661787747/">Flickr</a> // <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/deed.en_GB">CC</a></div><br />
So, I suck at communication. I know I do, In fact, we both kind of do, but in many ways I'm worse. More or less because more little things will niggle away at me than will at Master, and I won't raise them. Occasionally, I do... but more often than not, they'll be squirrelled away somewhere in the back of my mind.<br />
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Master doesn't read my blog. I understand why he doesn't - he cites concern of it affecting my freedom in writing here. I get that - but in some ways, I wish he would.<br />
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I know it would be a... questionable method of communication. But right now anything would seem better than where I'm at. I worry about things and don't say anything. I try sometimes, but nothing comes out.<br />
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So Master. If you do see this, please understand I am happy for you to read. Partly because it's better than what I'm managing at the moment, but for a reason much more than that. Because I am yours, and my writing and thoughts are parts of me, so they are yours. Even my worst parts belong to you, though I may wish to change them and improve, they are still yours. There is nothing I could say here I would not want you to see, and that is not due to self-censorship. It is because I am yours.<br />
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NK xxUnknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8768439208887341359.post-25410820896095548202012-02-08T04:43:00.000+00:002012-02-08T04:43:19.782+00:00Agency (Philosophy/sociology): Yes, this is still a sex/BDSM blog. Honest.<i>I apologise now, as this post is largely being used as a way for me to work through the things currently in my head. If that will annoy you, feel free to click the little x up there. I wouldn't blame you. </i><br />
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So, recently I've been thinking about the way I deprive others of agency; or at least refuse to acknowledge their own agency. In this context, I am using <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agency_%28philosophy%29">agency</a> to mean<br />
<ul><li>"capacity of an agent (a person or other entity) to act in a world". </li>
<li>"Human agency is the capacity for human beings to make choices and to impose those choices on the world"</li>
<li>""agency" refers to the capacity of individuals to act independently and to make their own free choices"</li>
</ul><br />
So with the terminology out of the way, back to the issue. When I say I rob people of agency, or of acknowledged agency, I mean that for all a person could express an opinion, a position on something or similar, I will often deny it's truth, call them out on it or something along those lines.<br />
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I'm not just a generic douche, honest. The times I do this is when the person is expressing (either implicitly or explicitly) thoughts or opinions (generally of a positive nature) about me. Sometimes it might be about their happiness/comfortableness with a situation involving me, wherein I believe they are only doing it to satisfy me and will frame their words/actions as such - a cover up for what they really think.<br />
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Now, doing this to friends sucks. I know it's unfair, and it could even be said to be questioning their honesty. Worst of all though, is when I do it to my Master. Yes, even he doesn't escape the over thinking bullshit. <br />
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Recently, the object of this issue has been on our ever evolving non monogamy. We discussed this over the festive period and another "boundary shift" happened as a result - prior to that point, we'd agreed we both got to be with girls together and me apart (and perhaps him apart? I don't know - it's the kind of bridge that would have been crossed had we got to it)... I brought it up as I was having an ethical quandary with the situation - in that it was hetero-normative, phallo-centric and imbalanced. Now ultimately, the last issue... well if Master had said "That's how I want it", I'd have gone with it. He gets the final say and I'm happy with that.<br />
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We talked and he said he had been thinking about it, and really, it didn't make sense. That to him, it did seem unfair and illogical - what was the huge difference between PIV sex for me with someone else and him with someone else - or for that matter PIV sex and other forms of sex? Were we really enforcing the hierarchical typical "PIV is <b>real </b>sex, everything else is foreplay" logic here? If that was at play, truth be told neither of us were comfortable with it. And if that wasn't an issue then why was one form of sex, for one of us, banned with others? I could understand why he too had realised it was somewhat... silly?<br />
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So boundaries shifted, and all was well.<br />
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But here's where my issue right now comes in. Is he really okay with it? If it happened, for real, would he still be okay with it? I've got the "could this destroy us" jitters... And then I catch myself thinking that way and chastise myself. We're not that fricking fragile, I know we aren't. We've been together a long time and we're - if anything - stronger than ever. Becoming increasingly kinky, and increasingly "ethically (sexually) non monogamous" has if anything strengthened us as a unit.<br />
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Thing is though, when I do this even to him, I can't help but feel really bad. When it's directed to Master not only am I being unfair to him, I am also showing a level of disrespect that makes me feel bad. If Master tells me this is how he feels, this is what he is comfortable, why on earth should I question that? How can I question that?<br />
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Maybe there's more social conditioning in my head than I'd like. Maybe that's what it is? I guess what I need to do is talk... both to those I deny ownership of thoughts and opinions to, and to others who've experienced similar problems.<br />
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NK xUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8768439208887341359.post-84823376388846865402012-01-26T22:26:00.001+00:002012-01-26T23:08:19.350+00:00Care in the Community<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglBIMWCzb_Puho-HmRFAJL1B01IV06ctWVx84C1ShOnwpqcl7TDTnCf0mRrsYqH8snwhfH6spAjdmqFgAsjc8rTFn_jH2Xfe3Nh51E3NPgNoC_mpu0ujg3_lNq9cU3d95eJiT-T7XAP-A/s1600/carebears.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglBIMWCzb_Puho-HmRFAJL1B01IV06ctWVx84C1ShOnwpqcl7TDTnCf0mRrsYqH8snwhfH6spAjdmqFgAsjc8rTFn_jH2Xfe3Nh51E3NPgNoC_mpu0ujg3_lNq9cU3d95eJiT-T7XAP-A/s320/carebears.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">(<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/jflinchbaugh/2455292681/">Flickr</a> // <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/deed.en">CC</a>)</div><br />
So I wrote <a href="http://nymphetaminekiss.blogspot.com/2012/01/losing-my-fetish-event-virginity.html">here</a> about how we recently attended our first fet event. During the event we played for longer (in a sustained sense) than we had previously, and I took a much longer, harder beating than normal - where new toys were also used. <br />
<br />
I've read many times about the importance of aftercare to a submissive, and always appreciated the importance - at least for others. I'd never really played hard enough or found my way into <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Subspace_%28BDSM%29">subspace</a>. The link there describes subspace as the state of a bottom's/submissive's/slave's mind during play, noting that "deep subspace" is often said to be a state of deep recession and incoherence. <br />
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Of course, that all changed on Saturday. Only afterwards did I realise how significant the scene had been, and how "out of it" I'd became. This, my friends, is why it helps a whole lot to at least have my Master there even if not playing!<br />
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During the scene, strapped to the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Andrew%27s_Cross_%28BDSM%29">cross</a>, I remember "zoning out", feeling my mind move past the physical into a part of my mind I know I can only access through intense pain or meditation. A quiet place, and somewhere that doesn't feel affected by the outside world in any form. Looking back now, I can recognise that I was pretty far into subspace. Asked at what became the end of our scene if I wanted to stop, I remember trying to focus on Master and attempting to answer. "I... don't know..." was all I could manage. It was then, with the focusing issues and the way my legs had stopped supporting me properly that Master called an end to the scene.<br />
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<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aftercare_%28BDSM%29">Aftercare</a> is something you read about a lot in BDSM/kink circles. I had never especially considered aftercare in relation to myself, nor had I ever expected to be the "kind" of submissive/slave that would need a great deal of aftercare. I look back now and realise that logic is at best flawed. There aren't "kinds" of submissives/slaves, and no-one can tell prior to play (unless you have prior knowledge) who will need aftercare. What I learnt is that aftercare is really all about listening to, and responding to the needs of your submissive/slave. While the wiki article is quite basic, I have read others online that detail the ways in which a sub/slave may react after a scene. For me, I was disorientated, and needed guidance on really basic things. I found I got the shivers/shakes and my temperature dropped. Knowing what I do now, i intend to keep a sugary drink on hand for post-play next time we play hard, and something warm to wrap up in. Something that was immensely helpful and comforting was the way Master told me how proud he was of me and that he loved me. The tenderness shown there penetrated to my very core.<br />
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I know I couldn't have handled being left on my own at that time. Being expected to stand would have been difficult, and had I not been given time to process and "recover" from the experience, I am certain my <a href="http://www.submissiveguide.com/2009/03/sub-drops-emotional-side/">subdrop</a> would have been significantly worse. <br />
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The bottom line is this; never think you know the extent of the aftercare you or your sub may require until the event occurs. Try to be as prepared as you can. Mostly, just look after yourself and those you play with.<br />
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NK xUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8768439208887341359.post-32512475827102047162012-01-25T20:31:00.000+00:002012-01-25T20:31:59.050+00:00Losing my fetish event virginity.So, on Saturday I found myself, after much anticipation, at my first ever fet club night.<br />
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A little bit of history. I've been on the scene for a couple of years roughly, and FetLife for as long. I've known I was kinky for longer still, probably more like six years give or take. Over the last couple of years we (Master aka WazDakka and I) have been promising ourselves and others that we'll get along to a proper event "soon" continually. We made it along to a fair few munches over that time and met some great people on-scene, but never actually made it to a club night.<br />
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All that changed at the weekend. We arrived early to attend the rope club too, and WazDakka picked up a few new things to use on me... such as a knotless hog tie - maybe a risky thing for him to know, but it's certainly fun!<br />
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Once we got to the evening, we changed into our fet-appropriate clothes, and headed back over to the club from the hotel we were staying in nearby. I was in my PVC outfit - a <a href="http://bit.ly/ycARwq">corset style buckled top</a> and a <a href="http://bit.ly/zyJ6A0">skirt</a> - which I got a lot of compliments for, something I hadn't been expecting!<br />
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We spent a lot of time in the social/rope room and just chatted with others until a friend of ours arrived. WazDakka also got to buy a new flogger from another scene friend - or should that be fiend - who makes evil and sadistic items!<br />
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Eventually we ventured through to the playroom, my first experience of one, where I laid eyes on the furniture it contained. Our friend had been talking to a ProDomme at the event and had been offered some coaching in dishing out a beating. Somehow, in the middle of all of this, I got volunteered for target practice and found myself shackled to the St Andrews Cross. My first time in a dimly lit dungeon, restrained and I found myself the attention of not one but three sadists (or rather two, plus one in-training!) - a nervous experience to say the least!<br />
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I'm told the scene lasted about three quarters of an hour, though I couldn't tell how long we'd been in there at all. My arse and legs became intimately acquainted with all manner of floggers, spankers and canes (mostly from Master's toybag, a couple from our ProDomme friend) and tears did fall. After my legs stopped supporting me properly at all, WazDakka called time on the session - my fatal flaw as a slave is my stubborn streak that stops me safewording out even when I probably should. Ultimately though, it wasn't more than I could take - after all I'm still here now!<br />
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The heat radiating from my arse afterwards was amazing. We went outside for a post-play cigarette and found the cooling breeze incredibly enjoyable! The marks on me may look like nothing to many, but for my rhino butt it says a lot - it takes a lot to mark my rear! Sitting wasn't a bundle of fun, but did serve as a flinchy reminder of what I'd just experienced.<br />
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Warning! Herein lies a picture of my butt. If this is something you DON'T want to see, stop reading.... NOW!<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVxIWOzzjYx4cD-adcDJ3-ZsZkbDvtMD-Z0YtefuN8ZF_gy4ts0T85n0FKa_c51nK2K1wMwVznhnyHLr9kBsJvjIwvWkRKFl-7H_UO7Pm81uHFjajHQ5vsZg93AHkXCDJFHDrxIDpA8Os/s1600/ass.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="246" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVxIWOzzjYx4cD-adcDJ3-ZsZkbDvtMD-Z0YtefuN8ZF_gy4ts0T85n0FKa_c51nK2K1wMwVznhnyHLr9kBsJvjIwvWkRKFl-7H_UO7Pm81uHFjajHQ5vsZg93AHkXCDJFHDrxIDpA8Os/s320/ass.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8768439208887341359.post-10238798174047958372012-01-19T21:33:00.000+00:002012-01-19T21:33:30.530+00:00Testing, testing?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJAzyfNAe_O62p1StmOv54cUFQgX95QqDCRS88NcCCX6G2vJbLlLmwnVCdEq6SnTN5rGMbC8OKZZQ8cVy0anPRFvtoqGOF8ZCsMmE3gAZNTZ7kQPOVHwq4xP3GTQys_mYBB9vrs7-N7Q0/s1600/sti+clinic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="272" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJAzyfNAe_O62p1StmOv54cUFQgX95QqDCRS88NcCCX6G2vJbLlLmwnVCdEq6SnTN5rGMbC8OKZZQ8cVy0anPRFvtoqGOF8ZCsMmE3gAZNTZ7kQPOVHwq4xP3GTQys_mYBB9vrs7-N7Q0/s320/sti+clinic.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
No, not testing the post, but rather testing me. Or at least certain parts of me. <br />
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I went today to the local STI clinic (aka GUM clinic) nearby. I should add at this point, that I don't suspect anything - this is a housekeeping task more than anything.<br />
<br />
Not too long ago I got to thinking - I've been having sex for 6 years now, and never once have I been tested. I honestly think a lot of people could say the same - but the years, for many, will be higher. There's still not a culture of routinely getting tested in terms of sexual health, in the same way there is say, a culture for getting a dental checkup twice a year.<br />
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I hope, in time, that changes. Because really, a lot of things can be dealt with easily when caught and caught early. But leaving issues for months or years is only going to jeopardise our own health, so surely this is a no brainer?<br />
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What I wanted to use this post for is to say that my experience wasn't scary. I wasn't judged. And no, it didn't hurt. I think the person most at risk today was the nurse who almost had a speculum fired at her due to my overzealous pelvic floor muscles. What can I say, I'm pretty strong in certain ways ;)<br />
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Seriously though; guys, girls and all the lovelies inbetween or elsewhere - today was fine. It was easy. Get tested. If you love sex, protect your ability to keep having it, and look after yourself.<br />
<br />
NK xUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8768439208887341359.post-35150176585321047242012-01-06T02:50:00.000+00:002012-01-06T02:50:28.338+00:00It's been too long.It really has.<br />
<br />
I've not posted in months, and in those months a lot has happened. I'm not going to try to give a full account of everything, but I think at least a once-over is in order...<br />
<br />
Since I <a href="http://nymphetaminekiss.blogspot.com/2011/03/on-shifting-goalposts-and-awesome.html">last updated on the matter</a>, there's been a fair bit more boundary-shifting for WazDakka and I. We've been through our first involvement with another person as a couple. She was a friend of ours, married, and had always been mono up until that point. Her husband had given her "permission" to be intimate with a girl, which was relatively quickly assigned to be me. Now there was also attraction there between said friend and WazDakka - so permission to play was given there too - but with a caveat of no PIV to take place (which, WazDakka being the honourable type it never did). Under these rules and restrictions the three of us had a lot of fun.<br />
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You'd be forgiven for wondering why the use of past tense if it was so good. The problem, at least in part, for us was her husband. Certainly for me at least. He had no interest in seeing his wife and I make out (fair enough, his choice) and was if anything noticably uncomfortable about it. That much didn't take a genious to work out. So WazDakka and I backed off. We're still great friends but while he's [her husband] so clearly not happy with the situation, it'll be staying platonic.<br />
<br />
Since then there haven't been any more girlies in my life. Which pretty much sucks. A few things could be on the horizon, but we'll wait and see what pans out.<br />
<br />
Perhaps more significantly, we discussed the ethical issues I was having with our arrangement the other night. I felt it was iffy at best that he was allowed to fuck women and yet I wasn't allowed to fuck men. It's not so much that I actively want to fuck other guys, but the contradiction seemed unfair. Don't get me wrong, WazDakka is my Master and ultimately what he says goes, but having a discussion about my issues on how close to a <a href="http://polyamory.tribe.net/thread/6296f455-a156-4d33-bd4a-1590906ac6b3">OPP</a> it came seemed sensible.To elevate PIV sex as more significant than other forms of sex riled my queer rights-ness, and to logic that I might get swayed away by something as insignificant as a cock when the rules layed out afforded him such "tempting" sex seemed crazy.<br />
<br />
His reply, however, surprised me. He said he'd been thinking about it recently, and that it was stupid, really. And that life is short, and his thinking had altered, opened up, to the idea that it really wasn't that significant. So if I wanted - with our normal caveat (that the additional person must not be a douchebag) - I was free to enjoy the "company" of guys.<br />
<br />
Sure enough, each of our FL profiles were updated, with the both useful and respectful expectation that any guy is to be vetted by my Master WazDakka, and that as such they are to contact him. Within a couple of days, we had a message. Not yet sure about that one, but that's for it's own reasons.<br />
<br />
So, what are we? We still don't really "identify" as poly, though we're not opposed to additional relationship(s) forming if they feel right. We're sure as hell not mono. We're <b>us</b>. That's about as much of a label as we're going for right now. <br />
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And with that I'm aware that was a very long post. So if you got that far, here's a boob shaped reward:<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-4-oi9ul39jc/TwZhE3fsJOI/AAAAAAAAAVc/thV2_rJX0Tg/s1600/bewbs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="297" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-4-oi9ul39jc/TwZhE3fsJOI/AAAAAAAAAVc/thV2_rJX0Tg/s400/bewbs.jpg" width="400" /> </a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">NK x </div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8768439208887341359.post-40140497682849000662011-08-25T21:08:00.000+01:002011-08-25T21:08:40.781+01:00Vanilla to D/s and onward to M/s...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjp3CmGxbog_9WqlgImRKh-N2h5M8SckfIWlErEDvQlYd6DxwQRb0CBpOoSVhXVGMRxFpFDNaqMPYLJ5McB-nWXeRVpeHR3Dqnn2rwE2yv6MZcyCfIxh_cTjB99dMilcTPKvQJgYtWtqwk/s1600/good_girl.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="299" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjp3CmGxbog_9WqlgImRKh-N2h5M8SckfIWlErEDvQlYd6DxwQRb0CBpOoSVhXVGMRxFpFDNaqMPYLJ5McB-nWXeRVpeHR3Dqnn2rwE2yv6MZcyCfIxh_cTjB99dMilcTPKvQJgYtWtqwk/s320/good_girl.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">(<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/26652069@N07/5154823225/">Flickr</a> // <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/deed.en_GB">CC</a>)</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><i>So... This is where I get writer's block...</i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">WazDakka and I started out in a vanilla relationship. Sure there was pretty much always some BDSM play there as it was a pre-existing interest for the both of us, but the relationship itself functioned in a vanilla manner, as boyfriend/girlfriend with little - to - no power dynamic. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div>Then, a while ago, it became a lot more D/s (Dominant/submissive). A power dynamic definitely came into play and was, in time, recognised. It fit, and wasn't an especially thought-out thing. In some ways, it helped that there was never a power struggle or difficulty working out where the balance was as WazDakka is Dom through and through, as much as I am sub through and through.<br />
<br />
Lately though, it really became clear that M/s (Master/slave) was much closer a description to how we were actually living. WazDakka pointed this out and since then, we've effectively relabelled our relationship. I'm finding myself behaving differently too, actually. There are times when I remember my behaviour is a reflection on my Master and as such my conduct should be the best it can be.<br />
<br />
There have been a lot of small shifts recently, and all for the better. I can only look forward to what the future has to bring for us :)<br />
<br />
NK x<br />
<br />
<br />
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8768439208887341359.post-57566582166077873212011-08-23T23:46:00.000+01:002011-08-23T23:46:40.220+01:00Mental Health and BDSM<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8oLuAQDUkG8-2VJJFP0kQUK1scGoSiWh4wTpUIJfOSiEFfwtREm0p9Si6cxb1Q6qIw18JZA_-AOgBSFliyUg_2rMTmwG15SpEfLT5rrIATN6CEzOXlopakFdl73xtCTcl7k0l3lfZmEw/s1600/bdsm-mental_health.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8oLuAQDUkG8-2VJJFP0kQUK1scGoSiWh4wTpUIJfOSiEFfwtREm0p9Si6cxb1Q6qIw18JZA_-AOgBSFliyUg_2rMTmwG15SpEfLT5rrIATN6CEzOXlopakFdl73xtCTcl7k0l3lfZmEw/s320/bdsm-mental_health.jpg" width="215" /> </a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kk/3488775199/">Flickr</a> // <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/deed.en_GB">CC</a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">So I've been wanting to write about this topic for a while... </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">There's often talk about the apparent correlation between kink and mental health issues. In the general population, roughly 1 in 4 of us will have a mental health issue of some sort, at some time. The most common tends to be depression or anxiety based. I count myself among those who have (and in my case, continue to) suffer. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">For me, I started to experience what was later diagnosed as depression and anxiety probably around 10 or 11 years old. Some might think that's early, though a surprising number of people do experience very early problems with mental health disorders. As of now, I am 23 and still battle against my demons. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Whether or not there is a higher incidence of mental health problems in the fetish community is hard to say as any evidence would be anecdotal at best, as no studies have been conducted nor numbers assessed. However, anecdotally speaking at least, there does seem to be at least a loose correlation - in my experience - that suggests such issues do seem to have a higher rate of incidence amongst the kink sceene. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">As many psychological movements in the world still categorise elements of kink as being themselves hallmarks of variant forms of mental illness, some would likely argue that the connection may suggest kink could be a disorder or 'sickness' as it is at times seen in the vanilla world to be. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Recently, though, I have been thinking more about alternate reasons why this may be. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">From a young age we are raised (generally speaking) in a vanilla world. This world is still broadly speaking, not especially sex positive, and even more critical of "deviant" sexual needs and wants. From as early an age as we develop these desires, we hear that they are not healthy. For some of us, we establish vanilla relationships and go about our lives often surpressing part of who we are. I believe this to be unhealthy behavious; as to deny a part of yourself can only bring pain and sadness. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I have found personally, that as i feel my kinkiness is an integral part of who I am and that those needs and desires are as strong as my needs for sex in general, for social contact and friendship, that if those desires are surpressed for too long a time I do find my stress increasing, my mood descending and my ability to cope with the world at a low. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Perhaps a correlation between a kinky self-identification and mental health problems could be traced to having to mould and shape ourselves to fit a world unforgiving of BDSM? </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">All in all, be true to yourself and you may be surprised at how good it feels. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">NK x</div><br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8768439208887341359.post-5957590718507620792011-08-05T05:03:00.000+01:002011-08-05T05:03:43.298+01:00I'm a Brat.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNHB7pkCPH2-6Sc_b0oIwF8QheyTW1Wgm4Oad0ov_2IOHRJerzy5P5JpleMlIvjWdK0Hzzw0fT3O5u2ZebEbCz89nlpZRUQYqvOW6Ux1D6UXMdc-3TiQUWduLKxntZVkm9XRU7PdrdoQs/s1600/cuppycake.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNHB7pkCPH2-6Sc_b0oIwF8QheyTW1Wgm4Oad0ov_2IOHRJerzy5P5JpleMlIvjWdK0Hzzw0fT3O5u2ZebEbCz89nlpZRUQYqvOW6Ux1D6UXMdc-3TiQUWduLKxntZVkm9XRU7PdrdoQs/s320/cuppycake.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Brats love cupcakes.</i></span></div><br />
I've wanted to write about this for a while. <br />
<br />
Most people who read this blog will by now know that I am a submissive. My partner is both my boyfriend in vanilla terms and my Dominant. It's become a running joke between us and beyond that I am, at times, somewhat bratty.<br />
<br />
I never meant it to be so. I dislike the concept of brattiness, and seeing it in other subs tends to make me flinch. I guess it's true what they say that you tend to most notice negative traits in others if they are ones you possess yourself.<br />
<br />
The thing is though, there is more than one sort of bratty - <i>in my opinion, anyway</i>. Sure, you have full on, topping-from-the-bottom bratting. But then you also have the cute(?), generally childlike, playful bratting. Naturally, there's a whole bunch inbetween too, but broadly speaking most of what I see falls vaguely into one of those categories.<br />
<br />
The other side of the coin is of course, the tollerance of the Dominant involved with a bratting sub. Some take playful bratting in good humour and don't have an issue with it. Others may see it as insubordination, no matter the intent.<br />
<br />
Most of the time, I'd like to say that when I do go brat, it's of the playful kind. In fact, I'd hope it always was. But here's the thing, sometimes bratting that's meant to be of the playful kind inadvertantly serves as the controlling sort. In all honesty, I dislike myself bratting of either kind. I have a much stronger subby/service orientated streak in me than I often admit to, and being disobedient makes me feel bad.<br />
<br />
So why do I brat? Mostly, for attention, if I'm being honest with myself. Sometimes it also serves the same purpose as nervous laughter, too. But mostly, the attention.<br />
<br />
I'm an ass.<br />
<br />
I'd like not to be.<br />
<br />
NK xUnknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8768439208887341359.post-33748456439935462812011-03-28T12:08:00.001+01:002012-01-06T01:15:32.998+00:00On Shifting Goalposts and Awesome Boyfriends.<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://nymphetamine-kiss.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/nonmonogamy2.5.1.gif"><img alt="Non Monogamy Map" class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-257" height="222" src="http://nymphetamine-kiss.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/nonmonogamy2.5.1-300x222.gif" title="Non Monogamy Map" width="300" /></a><i> </i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>First of all, as a side-note, I should be working. I know that. I will be soon, but this all needs to come out of my head if there is even a chance of that happening... Which it really needs to! </i></div><br />
I saw the <a href="http://www.obsidianfields.com/lj/nonmonogamy2.5.1.gif">map</a> shown above on another blog post an absolute age ago in a round-up of things the blogger had found, and bookmarked it. I found it interesting, especially as I'd always considered R and I to be mono... But the graphic saw things differently. At the time, our arrangement was that I was allowed to engage in non-sex kink play with friends, as R is less into kink than I am. What interested me especially about the placement of arrangements onto that map was that "You can do D/s stuff with other people as long as there's no sex and no emotional connection" was classified as "BDSM play and D/s non-monogamy" but did not get defined as a form of poly... whereas the description of "You can do D/s stuff with other people as long as there's no sex" (but allowing for emotional connection) found itself in "Polyamorous relationships" as well as "BDSM play and D/s non-monogamy".<br />
<br />
Now, when looking at this at the time, I found that slightly odd, because I guess I didn't really see our arrangement as being poly-ish at all. But then, personally, I think I would struggle to engage in BDSM or D/s play with anyone I didn't have at least <i>some form </i>of emotional connection with.<br />
<h2><span style="color: black;">Now, the more interesting stuff!</span></h2><br />
This weekend has been... Interesting. Lately, I've struggled a little. I've been comfortable with my sexuality for a long time and that hasn't exactly changed, but I do find being bisexual I get shifts in where my preferences lie, and while I always do like both, there are times I swing far more towards women. Add on to that, that I haven't been near a woman in a sexual sense in probably about 3 or 4 years... Frustration. On top of that I had begun to feel distant from R because of my mind being all girl-obsessed at the moment. In turn, this meant I felt guilty as sin for it. Now, I know that's not useful or sensible, but it was how I felt.<br />
<br />
On explaining all of this to him, R's response was (and I quote) "Go for it". Not the answer I'd expected. After a whole lot more talking across the course of two nights (for some reason, our communication seems to improve once we hit the sack... probably because my communication improves, so I just demand conversations!) we have established what have now been termed as "All new and improved, sparkly goalposts. Some might even say shiney".<br />
<br />
<b>The upshot is:</b><br />
<ul><li>R and I still love each other very much and that comes in ahead of ANYTHING else. He knows to say if he feels differently ever about anything, and any little 'eeps' should be mentioned, because I would hate to do anything to ever hurt him.</li>
<li>He is totally fine with me having what has been termed "girl fun".</li>
<li>He must be told before anything happens, and has (an unlikely to be used) right of veto.</li>
</ul><br />
I think that's everything. So, yeah, I'm still trying to sort out my own headspace from that.<br />
<br />
NK xUnknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8768439208887341359.post-10942268253733639292011-03-17T23:48:00.001+00:002012-01-06T01:15:54.131+00:00And what, precisely, does that have to do with ANYTHING?<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://nymphetamine-kiss.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/s_echo.jpg"><img alt="sunderland_echo_frontpage" class="size-medium wp-image-253 aligncenter" height="209" src="http://nymphetamine-kiss.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/s_echo-300x209.jpg" title="sunderland_echo_frontpage" width="300" /></a> </div>And so begins the article; "THIS is the face of killer Beverley Briggs – carer by day and phone-sex worker by night."<br />
<br />
Sorry, what? <b>Please</b>, tell me what the hell her PSO work had to do with her crime? Reading further into the <a href="http://www.sunderlandecho.com/news/sunderland_killer_jailed_for_20_years_1_3191067">article</a>, we're told she was deep in debt and had stolen from the pensioner she killed. In that sense, holding down a second job gives further information to her background and possibly to her financial situation - but I am damned sure were it any other kind of second job she worked, say as a cleaner, or in a call centre, it wouldn't have been "THIS is the face of killer Beverley Briggs - carer by day and call centre worker by night". It would have, possibly, been mentioned somewhere in the article.<br />
<br />
Just checking; I haven't got mixed up have I? It <i>is </i>2011? Are we still morally staining people for legal, legitimate work? (Aside from the question of declared earnings, but as there was no mention of her not declaring that would be assumptive.)<br />
<br />
Surely the headline should have focussed on the fact that she killed an OLD LADY in her CARE? How is her PSO work more important?!<br />
<br />
I have nothing more constructive to say right now, I just needed to rage somewhere.<br />
<br />
NK xUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8768439208887341359.post-59172487984434547662011-03-13T03:22:00.001+00:002012-01-06T01:16:22.409+00:00On Porn Viewership Switchiness.<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://nymphetamine-kiss.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/pawn.jpg"><img alt="pawn" class="size-medium wp-image-247 aligncenter" height="300" src="http://nymphetamine-kiss.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/pawn-225x300.jpg" title="pawn" width="225" /></a> </div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.0/deed.en">CC</a> // <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/doug88888/3400002114/">Flickr</a><br />
<i>(Yes, Pawn/Porn. I'm freaking hilarious, I know.)</i></div><br />
<div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">Recently I got thinking about how, I guess "switchy" would be the best word, I am in my porn tastes. I watch porn relatively regularly, upwards of once a week (dependent on when I'm in a situation to do so ;) ) and every time I do so, there's generally something I want. Not just something generically hot, but a specific - sometimes I'll want to see something very kink, sometimes it's more vanilla. I might want anal or oral or any number of kinks - sometimes even ones I've never identified as having.</div><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">Each type is watched from a different perspective for me though, depending on what's going on, and how I'm feeling that day. If I'm watching a female sub centric scene, then what's getting me off could be me as the voyeur or placing myself as the tortured sub. In an anal scene, I'm probably imagining my ass being taken, but occasionally in a strapon scene, I might find myself in the mindset of being the fucker rather than the fuckee.</div><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">However what I found recently is that gender roles seem to affect the way I fantasise within my porn watching. Normally, if I want kink, it'll be female-sub centric, where I can identify with the sub. Just recently though, I found myself watching scenes of male subs being Dommed by females and majorly got off on it, very much in a dominant mindset. It's interesting though, that when I think about the possibility of ever Domming, I can only imagine it with a male sub - don't ask me why, I'm honestly not sure.</div><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">Whether or not anything will ever come of any of these thoughts that run through my head, I don't know... But for a self proclaimed totally-non switching, complete sub, this is <i>interesting</i>.</div><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">NK x</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0