Review: UberKinky Squeezer Teaser Nipple Clamps

I was kindly sent the Squeezer Teaser Nipple Clamps for review by the lovely folks at UberKinky in exchange for an honest review.

These nipple clamps are of the Japanese clover clamp variety. Made of metal, they also have soft rubber tips and a cord to allow weights or attaching to anything else a sadists mind can think up. The grip, though adjustable, is quite intense but incredibly pleasurable - or at least if you have masochistic tenancies it certainly is.

When I received them, the clamps were in cardboard and plastic packaging, which being completely honest, cheapened the aesthetic. I've included a picture of them in the packaging for comparison. Were I to give a set of these as a gift, I would personally unpackage them and wrap them simply in tissue paper or similar to give a classier look.

Now, once out of the packaging I found these to be great. Of course, they're called nipple clamps but that really doesn't cover all the possibilities a creative sadist could think up - if you can pinch flesh, you can clamp it!

Now, it should be stated these probably aren't for those not keen on a little pain, and they are more intense than some other clamps I've tried. Saying that, if you're a fan of Nipple Play they're a great investment and a true classic to add to any toybox.

So all in all, not great packaging, but look beyond that and you'll find a great bit of kit with real bite!

NK xx

Consent: Not Optional.

Flickr // CC

Recently consent has been a hot topic in the fetish community. It is, of course, always of significance, but recently there doesn't seem to have been a day without someone else chiming in on the issue. Now for those who are on FetLife, I'm sure I don't need to go into the full background of recent accusations, and that's not what this post is meant to be about - I don't have a great deal to contribute in regard to communities I'm not involved in, and situations I have no knowledge of. Suffice to say I do think these discussions are important and abuses of consent always need to be challenged.

What I want to write about today is the application of consent.

So, you've been on the scene a while (maybe six months, maybe six years, who knows), and you're pretty confident you have it all down. You can debate everything from consent issues, to play styles, to edgier forms of kink with finesse.

And that's great.

But here's the thing. In all those discussions on why you need to ensure consent is given, did you actually sit back and think "Hey, this applies to me!"? Becasuse you damn well should have.

Consent applies to you.
Consent applies to me.
Consent applies to every single one of us.

It doesn't matter if you're especially "well liked" or well respected in the local "scene". It doesn't matter if you run your own parties or just attend. It doesn't matter if you're 18 or 80. It doesn't matter if s/he's your sub, partner or whatever-other-status. It just doesn't.

I'm getting sick of hearing of people brushing off consent violations. 

Unwanted touch MATTERS. Breaking limits MATTERS. Using deception or manipulation to gain "consent" MATTERS.

Just promise me this; the next time you're engaged in some kind of act (whether that be you physically performing an act upon someone, having them perform it on you, or commanding them to do something), sit back for a second and make sure you know, beyond reasonable doubt, that s/he wants you to be doing this. If you can, great. If you have doubts, check in and be prepared to stop right that goddamn second.

Trust me when I say being sexually pressured into unwanted acts, or being nonconsentually touched in any way, shape or form, stays with a person. It will colour their view of you, and worst of all, it might make them see themselves differently*.

NK x

*No one should ever feel guilty or responsible for that which was forced upon them, but many assualt survivors and those who have been in some way violated, do.

Losing my fetish event virginity.

So, on Saturday I found myself, after much anticipation, at my first ever fet club night.

A little bit of history. I've been on the scene for a couple of years roughly, and FetLife for as long. I've known I was kinky for longer still, probably more like six years give or take. Over the last couple of years we (Master aka WazDakka and I) have been promising ourselves and others that we'll get along to a proper event "soon" continually. We made it along to a fair few munches over that time and met some great people on-scene, but never actually made it to a club night.

All that changed at the weekend. We arrived early to attend the rope club too, and WazDakka picked up a few new things to use on me... such as a knotless hog tie - maybe a risky thing for him to know, but it's certainly fun!

Once we got to the evening, we changed into our fet-appropriate clothes, and headed back over to the club from the hotel we were staying in nearby. I was in my PVC outfit - a corset style buckled top and a skirt - which I got a lot of compliments for, something I hadn't been expecting!

We spent a lot of time in the social/rope room and just chatted with others until a friend of ours arrived. WazDakka also got to buy a new flogger from another scene friend - or should that be fiend - who makes evil and sadistic items!

Eventually we ventured through to the playroom, my first experience of one, where I laid eyes on the furniture it contained. Our friend had been talking to a ProDomme at the event and had been offered some coaching in dishing out a beating. Somehow, in the middle of all of this, I got volunteered for target practice and found myself shackled to the St Andrews Cross. My first time in a dimly lit dungeon, restrained and I found myself the attention of not one but three sadists (or rather two, plus one in-training!) - a nervous experience to say the least!

I'm told the scene lasted about three quarters of an hour, though I couldn't tell how long we'd been in there at all. My arse and legs became intimately acquainted with all manner of floggers, spankers and canes (mostly from Master's toybag, a couple from our ProDomme friend) and tears did fall. After my legs stopped supporting me properly at all, WazDakka called time on the session - my fatal flaw as a slave is my stubborn streak that stops me safewording out even when I probably should. Ultimately though, it wasn't more than I could take - after all I'm still here now!

The heat radiating from my arse afterwards was amazing. We went outside for a post-play cigarette and found the cooling breeze incredibly enjoyable! The marks on me may look like nothing to many, but for my rhino butt it says a lot - it takes a lot to mark my rear! Sitting wasn't a bundle of fun, but did serve as a flinchy reminder of what I'd just experienced.

Warning! Herein lies a picture of my butt. If this is something you DON'T want to see, stop reading.... NOW!

BDSM and Me - Part 5: Culture

This is part 5 in a 15 part series of questions I've been slowly working my way through for some time now. Click here to see the full list. 

What would you say have been (if any) mass and pop culture influences on your BDSM expectations, performance and desires?

Picture reproduced under Creative Commons. From Bert23 www.aerosolplanet.com on Flickr

Right now, I find this a really interesting question. I switched degrees at University and I'm now studying on a programme that combines media and cultural studies; a course that I'm finding incredibly enjoyable and very "me".

Even defining popular culture is a huge undertaking however! (It must be if a professor at my University can somehow have managed to crank out five editions of a text book on media and popular culture!) I have 2000 words to write on just that!

However, overlooking the problems with the term itself, I'll attempt to answer this without veering off into essay mode!

Popular culture has for a long time, depicted kinksters and BDSMers as the "others", as the socially deviant, and at times morally questionable. I always found that hard to accept. From a fairly young age, the first sights of kink I was exposed to (I would suspect that was online!), I found to be an enlightening demonstration of self expression. For that reason, I always felt that I didn't understand the need for secrecy we find imposed upon us by society.

At the same time, however, I also suffered with masturbation guilt during my earlier years as a furtive wanker. It wasn't probably until I reached mid teens that I truly accepted self love as a source of pleasure and joy, rather than something to feel ashamed of afterwards.

Luckily, by the time I was introduced in the real world to kink, I was well and truly over my self pleasure shame!

Largely, I'd say I tend to avoid paying too much attention to what mainstream mass media has to say about fetish and kink, as the majority of it is nothing more or less than a caricature of reality; a distorted jumble of the seedier elements of what someone might have done to someone else, somewhere...

Saying that, though, I am a member of FetLife, and that could be easily classified as a sub-group within society, and of course, that makes it a smaller part of (admittedly "deviant") culture. I have learned a lot about other peoples' kinks and fetishes in the time I have been a member there, and it has helped me greatly in getting more involved with the local social kink scene.

Being involved to this small extent has meant that I feel I better understand what might happen at a BDSM club, or play party, and as such think I may yet find myself in attendence some day. Were it not for the influence of the online and real world communities I have encountered, I know that wouldn't be the case - it'd all be too intimidating for me.

As I have learned of more and different kinks and fantasies which other people hold, I have found my own kinks and potential kinks widening. Some years ago, for example, I might not have been as open to rimming as I am now (if you'll pardon the unintentional pun there!) - and I am so glad I am.

While I know that went on a bit, and I probably waffled on for far too long, I hope it explains a little of my influences.

NK x

Review: Fetish Fantasy Honeymoon Bondage Kit

This is another review I've been shamefully sitting on for some time now. I'm not usually this useless but with one thing and another, this has taken me forever... and I really hope that the gorgeous guys and girls at SexToysUK can forgive me... *flutters eyelashes*

I was sent this to review a while ago (*blush*) and it was really nice to have a change from vibes! Don't get me wrong, I love what I do and testing dildos, vibes and other toys is a pretty awesome hobby/job I have... but a change is brilliant too, and that's exactly what this provided!

In this kit, you'll find adjustable white wrist and ankle cuffs with tethers, a white blindfold, a pink and black feather tickler, 2 candles and a mini vibrator. As such, I'll take each item in turn, and then look at the kit as a whole...

The wrist and ankle cuffs are probably the most significant piece of kit in the box. Obviously, the thing that is most striking about these is the fact that they're white. Not entirely groundbreaking, but also a noticable departure from the standard bondage fare of black, black and more black, and a change that would likely make them a whole lot less intimidating to the uninitiated. In use, I was impressed by the velcro closures on the tethers, they really didn't give even when I tried really hard to pull against them. With the tether system though, our bed isn't exactly condusive to them, being the divan type. Still, overall, a definite thumbs up for the cuffs.

When I first laid eyes on the blindfold, I was skeptical. It's not the most expensive or thick blindfold, and to top that, it's white... so I really wasn't sure it was going to actually perform its task. I'll admit I was wrong, and that it does a surprisingly good job. Because of the way mine was folded in the box, mine had some pretty noticable creases, that made it look less attractive. They'll come out in time, but initially that does affect the look. The nose area could be a little better shaped, but that's a common flaw with all but the really high end blindfolds, and it's a minimal issue by comparison. Sure there are better blindfolds out there, but this is at least a decent-ish beginner's one.

In stark contrast to the vast amounts of white in this kit, sits the pink and black feather tickler that's included. The handle is a thin, plastic stick so it's possibly not going to be the sturdiest creation ever, but the feathers do feel wonderfully soft and is probably best (in my opinion) paired with the blindfold to allow for sensation play.

The candles are fairly standard, the normal white stick type many households keep in stock for emergencies. As such though, they're inconspicuous and will likely fit most holders. I'm not certain why they're in this kit though; in that as it's marketted towards comparitive beginners with bondage - for whom I'd think wax play might be pushing boundaries a little? If not, they could make for a handy way to set the scene and get the atmosphere right. I did check them out and they seem to burn pretty cleanly and the temperature of the wax is pretty average too.

Coming across the mini vibrator, I found it's the pocket rocket type, and comes with 4 interchangable caps (one domed; one with flat, circular bumps; one with taller, slightly spikier nobs and a fourth with what I can only describe as rounded off spikes). The vibe without any caps added has 3 metal nubs on the top, which I find to be a little rough to want to use on its own. The vibe is quiet, which is a plus point, and only needs a single AA battery, but largely, I didn't find it particularly impressive. With either of the first two caps on, (especially the dome) it feels like a lot of the vibration is lost, and travels up toward the hand rather than the clit... and the latter two caps feel downright spikey. I don't want anything that rough buzzing there. A bit of a let down, unfortunately.

Lastly, not mentioned on the box or the SexToysUK site, I also found a little bag containing twist-open samplers of PipedreamProducts' Toy Cleaner, "Moist" Lube and Peaches and Cream "Liquid Love". The Latter is a little runnier than most lickables are but does taste very peachy, if a little too sweet. The lube has a decent consitency, and isn't sticky. These three samples make for a nice, unexpected inclusion. It's just a little annoying that you can't reseal them.

All things considered, I'd say that the Fetish Fantasy Honeymoon Bondage Kit makes for a good intro set, but may be a little basic for anyone who's a bit more advanced. I wasn't a fan of the vibrator, but the hard wearing restraints make up for it.

It's available now at SexToysUK.

NK x

BDSM and Me - Part 4: Kinky Clothing.

This is the fourth question in a series I'm answering all about my kinks. You can access the complete list here. 

Your thoughts on BDSM clothing: fun, too many stereotypes, too expensive, too uncomfortable, boring?

My opinion of fetish gear has evolved and changed over the years.

I'd go as far as to say that some years ago I had trouble understanding why there even WAS fetish clothing, outside of it being a specific fetish for some folk within the kinky community... I could understand if a person had a kink for a particular material or certain types of material... that made sense.But for a whole range of clothing to be deemed 'fetish'? And even more so, from my limited knowledge, fetish clubs often required you to wear fetish clothing even if that wasn't your kink? It didn't entirely add up for me.

Now, though, I'd say my opinion, and my understanding of it has changed.

Part of it is, undeniably, the psychology of kink. You feel different in certain clothes. Almost like a mindset-uniform. And yes, there are those for whom kink clothing is a fetish in its own right.

As for me, I do own a little PVC... Only one outfit so far but I do love it and hope to own more in the future. I wouldn't say PVC is a full-on fetish for me... yet... but I do feel very different when wearing it. I love the look of it, and it does feel more restrictive than a lot of clothing, which is enjoyable. No, it isn't something I'd want to spend every day in - and yes, I have far more comfortable attire in my wardrobe... But that's partly the point...

I do think there are a lot of cliches and stereotypes within kink clobber, but overall, I'd say that getting dressed up for an event can all be part of the fun and if it helps everyone get into the right frame of mind, then that's a positive. I'm happy to see, now that I know a little more, that most fet clubs do allow a wider range of attire than I'd previously thought, though. For some people, it's hard to get fetish clothing that fits, and even more so than that, there are those who really don't enjoy being shined up ;)

I must get around to wearing my pvc out some time.

NK x