So utterly distracted...

You know that level of horniness, where to focus on a single task seems impossible, where you feel that hot, tingling, hunger, just there... I know that feeling. I have that feeling right now.

Now, I am delighted that this year is easily one of my best christmasses ever. Probably the best since childhood. Not that we did anything special, just that I felt good, and happy. [By the way, the meds I told you about in the last post? They've been upped and it's the most amazing thing ever, all that crap I've felt since I was a kid is just gone. Really. It's almost scary how wonderful I feel.]

Which is nice. The only downside to the festivities is that the Mr and I each went off to our respective parents, and have spent the last couple of nights in different towns, let alone different beds. That sucks, I miss him, soppy as that is. But I have to admit, today that has really... deepened, shall we say.

I'm at that stage of really, physically, hungering for him. Needing him, all of him.

I need to feel his touch, feel his lips on mine, his tongue to dance over my own, and gloss over my nipples, hardening them. I need to be aware of his cock growing hard, not quite at that moment but the presence... I need to feel his fingers push into my wetness, twisting and probing me, making me writhe uncontrollably. I need to feel his breath on my clit, and for him to lick and suck me to orgasm while his fingers explore my ass. To run my tongue down the length of his shaft, then take him into my mouth, and lube my ass with my fingers. I need to turn and offer my moistened asshole to him, and feel him push deep inside of me, fucking me wildly, till he fills my ass with hot cum...

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

[file this entry under self torture, why dontcha?]

LF x

Life etc...

Ok then. So, I've toyed with the idea of this post for a few days now and decided to go ahead with it. I guess some of that deliberation is about where my boundaries lie on here, and whether anyone cares about my personal life. Still though, I decided to procede on the basis that what's going on right now affects my life fairly significantly and can also affect my blogging up to a point. (Enough rambling, yes?) Basically, I've had depression problems since my teens at least, if not 11/12, and now I'm at Uni they have returned again. I'm finding myself extremely anxious, paranoid about people around me, and a whole host of other depressive stuff too. This came to a head a few weeks back when I had a group presentation to do at Uni and I just couldn't speak no matter how hard I tried. I'm also aware there are times when I'm a really shitty girlfriend (though I know my boyfriend says I'm not) and a really shitty housemate. I did go see my doctor, though I felt bad for wasting her time, I didn't think she could do much etc. I was expecting the same as I got a couple years back with my old doc, a laminated tick sheet to almost self-diagnose, and a promise of some CBT with what was probably the worlds crappiest CPN ever that never did materialise. I actually feel guilty for underestimating my GP now, she was wonderful. We had a really good talk, she takes my problems seriously and is referring me for therapy, and I've been started on some antidepressant/anti-anxiety meds too. Probably overdue by all accounts. Now, how this ties into the blog, aside from the fact that there is a person (me!) writing it, and this is happening to me, is the fact of side effects of ADs. Now, like most ADs, there are a list of possible side effects about as long as my arm. I'm being affected by a few, most notable is the nausea which happens most days at the moment, but with extra tiredness in there somewhere, oh, and... increased difficulty in achieving orgasm. Now this last one I'll admit I've taken kinda hard. Don't get me wrong, I'm sticking with the meds, it's not really an option to ditch them cold turkey anyway, and I think long term this is the best way to go, but this one side effect is probably the one that's getting to me the most. Being a girl who, since I started self-pleasuring some 10 or more years ago, has never had trouble getting off, to have to work so hard is sort of alien to me. On the bright side, I guess it gives me a chance to really road-test the Tracey Cox Orgasm Arousal Gel I have and already really like. Clouds and silver linings and all that! Anyway, I really hope I haven't bored you or annoyed you too much. I'll keep this kind of boring crap to a minimum, I promise.

NK x

Review: California Exotics - iTap "G" Vibe

The uber-observant types out there may have noticed a rather pink box that appeared to the right recently; yes, the gorgeous guys & girls at CalExotics added me to their ever growing band of Sexperts! Yesterday I got my first toy from them to review, and I was pretty pleased to have been sent the iTap™ "G" Vibe (in white).

I'd had my eye on the iTap range for a little while; the standout feature (as may be given away by the name) is the way in which they're operated - there are no buttons on this baby! No dials or rocker switches, or anything similar.

The base is touch sensitive, so you just "tap" and go, so to speak! I liked this idea when I first heard about it, as in the heat of the moment a lot of buttons can be fiddly, and I don't have much luck with dials to be honest. The iTap range has other styles of vibe in it, such as eggs, wands and bullets (Click to see the entire iTap range) but in all honesty, I was glad to get the G vibe. I'm on a bit of an ongoing quest to find the perfect G spot vibe and I'm always up for trying another one!

When I first took it out of the box, I noticed the angle the G spot curve is at feels a lot more dramatic than many others, which I took to be a positive thing, I've not had much success with some other 'gspot' toys so I don't think the 'softly softly' approach works with me! The vibe itself feels velvety soft, thanks apparently to CalExotics "Velvet Cote" er... coating! Anyway, it feels really silky, just gorgeous. It's average length at 6" and fairly slim at 1", which is a reasonable size given that it feels more due to the curvature. Cycling through the options, I found 5 settings that can be ran through, though I must admit I spent more time on the first, lowest setting, than any other.

On the lowest setting it's fairly quiet, but as it gets to the higher setting or pulsing/escalating settings it's more noticable. I'd say the volume's about average though, and nothing a TV/radio couldn't drown out - but perhaps not one for times when you need to be very discrete. Given that though, it probably wouldn't matter if it was the quietest vibe in the world, I still wouldn't use this if I had to be very quiet... I don't think I could keep quiet if I tried!

My initial thoughts on the angle of the head proved fairly accurate - that feels divine rubbing against the gspot, and I really noticed the difference the coating made. Considering it only takes 2 AA batteries, it really packs a punch! Like I said, I spent a great deal of time on the mildest setting, and found that plenty strong enough. It has a great deal of versatility too, I used it for clit stimulation and found it worked brilliantly for that too.

My only major gripe with the iTap "G" Vibe is that in order to turn it off, you have to cycle through all the 5 settings. Not so bad if you're on the last, or second-to-last one, but if you've been hovering around the first one, that takes some tapping! Another small potential issue I considered was the probability of accidentally 'tapping' to the next setting when you didn't mean to, as the touch sensitive pad on the base is quite sensitive (about as sensitive as my phone's touch screen, if that contextualises what I mean?) - however I think both these issues are a small trade off for doing away with dials and buttons, and for gaining such simplicity.

• Excellent G-Spot stimulation from the angled head
• Velvety-soft feel
• Runs on widely available AAs
• Good strong vibrations
• Much less fiddly than other vibes; touch sensitive base

• Having to cycle through all settings to switch off
• Potential to slip and skip through settings

The issues are small enough to easily overlooked, and the returns ROCK. Easily the best G-Spot vibe I've enjoyed, and one I will be using time and time again. P.S. It's just technical-sounding enough to make any guy want to have a go ("touch sensitive pad you say, oh... interesting" will be the words you'll likely hear) - and if there is one thing better than a damn good vibrator, it's a damn good vibrator in the hands of someone else, doing the work!

 
A single point lost due to minor 'cons' - otherwise outstanding!
 

View all the info for the "G" vibe or the entire iTap Range @ CalExotics' website, UK readers may wish to buy @ Lovehoney for £22.99 (price correct as of writing)

NK x

Just a quickie... About as close to HNT as I'll likely ever get!

So yeah... I bought something new! Look away now if BBW-ness ain't your thing!

Sorry for the pic quality!

NK x

I told you a revolution was coming...

And I didn't lie! As of this morning, this went live @ LoveHoney:

LoveHoney Sqweel

In what has to be one of the most hyped sex toy launches ever, I was lucky enough to be given a sneak preview of the Sqweel, getting to roadtest one a litLtle while ago - thanks of course, go out to the gorgeous folk at LoveHoney! So, what do I think? Well my first thoughts were on the packaging I saw as I opened it, the box is really cool (see below) and it's almost a pity LoveHoney is exclusively online, these would look fantastic on the shelves! Opening it up, I have to say I was surprised - it looks a lot different to anything out there at the moment... a claim I'd originally been mildly sceptical of when I first heard it - I didn't think there was much, if anything, that hadn't already been done in the market. I'm rather glad to say I was proven wrong in that respect!

So, on to the toy itself. As you can see, its all based on the idea of a wheel with 10 tongues on it, which rotates at variable speeds to simulate the sensation of oral sex on your clitoris - though it can be used elsewhere! There's just one control to switch it on and off, and to adjust the speed, so it's nice and simple, meaning you can just lie back and enjoy it instead of thinking about button pressing! The only mildly fiddly thing about the whole toy in fact, is the cover you twist off to clean it (and by the way, it's super easy to clean!) but after you've done that once, it's fine. I don't know if it's as obvious in the photos, but it's not obvious at all what it is when the cap is on - to that end, if it were left out on a side table and someone saw it, they wouldn't immediately guess it was a sex toy (so pretty handy for nosey relatives/friends/etc). It's also on the mild-moderate side of volume, and the little noise it does make isn't the typical "buzzy" noise, so again a little more discrete.

Ultimately though, how good a toy is really comes down to its performance... I was blown away! I have to admit I do normally have to give most toys a hand to get 'there', but with this, it did all the work for me! I wouldn't say it'd get me there the quickest out of anything i've tried, but it will give me the best orgasm, and certainly more like an orgasm with a partner. Now, conceptually, I can't help but think this is brilliant - like I said at the start of this post I wasn't convinced that there really was anything left that hadn't been done in the market, but this isn't like anything else out there. You can replicate sex - up to a point - with toys, but there has never been a good oral simulator on the market, especially at a reasonable price.

I honestly believe that if enough women find out about this, it could be as revolutionary - if not more so - to the market as the Rabbit!

Buy it exclusively @ LoveHoney for £34.99 (price correct at time of writing)

NK x