I'm a Brat.

Brats love cupcakes.

I've wanted to write about this for a while.

Most people who read this blog will by now know that I am a submissive. My partner is both my boyfriend in vanilla terms and my Dominant. It's become a running joke between us and beyond that I am, at times, somewhat bratty.

I never meant it to be so. I dislike the concept of brattiness, and seeing it in other subs tends to make me flinch. I guess it's true what they say that you tend to most notice negative traits in others if they are ones you possess yourself.

The thing is though, there is more than one sort of bratty - in my opinion, anyway. Sure, you have full on, topping-from-the-bottom bratting. But then you also have the cute(?), generally childlike, playful bratting. Naturally, there's a whole bunch inbetween too, but broadly speaking most of what I see falls vaguely into one of those categories.

The other side of the coin is of course, the tollerance of the Dominant involved with a bratting sub. Some take playful bratting in good humour and don't have an issue with it. Others may see it as insubordination, no matter the intent.

Most of the time, I'd like to say that when I do go brat, it's of the playful kind. In fact, I'd hope it always was. But here's the thing, sometimes bratting that's meant to be of the playful kind inadvertantly serves as the controlling sort. In all honesty, I dislike myself bratting of either kind. I have a much stronger subby/service orientated streak in me than I often admit to, and being disobedient makes me feel bad.

So why do I brat? Mostly, for attention, if I'm being honest with myself. Sometimes it also serves the same purpose as nervous laughter, too. But mostly, the attention.

I'm an ass.

I'd like not to be.

NK x

On Fantasising...

Picture reproduced under Creative Commons. From Chiara CC on Flickr.

I think fantasies are interesting. 

I identify completely as a submissive. It's just who I am and always have been from the beginning of my partnered sex beginnings. I have never really questioned my BDSM roles within that time, or at least not until lately. 

I found myself desperate for sleep on Tuesday night. I knew I'd only have time for about 3 hours sleep at most as I was heading to London via coach in the small hours of the next morning for the Student Fees Protest (and no, I wasn't one of the ones who got violent, honest!). 

As time passed, I still struggled to drift off. My mind wouldn't slow down or shut off, and I felt restless and wide awake. There is, of course, an obvious sedative. 

A good orgasm induces such a fantastic state of relaxation, the sensation of spent energies and sastisfaction that make it so very easy to drift into slumber... 

Already naked in my bed (I cannot sleep clothed for love nor money... well, when I really have to. But if it's my own home, it ain't happening!), I allow my hands to wander across my body; my mind searching for a scene to play out and emmerse myself within. 

I surprise myself as my mind conjures that of a submissive male, desperate and beneath me. He is warned not to even think of getting hard as I squat above his face. In my fantasy, I feel my knickers become hot and wet as they soak through with my juices, inches above his pathetic face. 

His cock stiffens, and a swift, stinging strike of the crop lands. "What the fuck did I tell you?" I scold. 

"I'm sorry, Mistress, please"

Still just above his face, my fingers slide into my panties, pushing them aside to allow him to see me rub my hardened clit.

Lying in my bed, eyes closed and deep within my fantasy, my fingers mimick those within my mind. 

It takes next to no time before I feel waves of pleasure radiate from my pussy, as my orgasm comes hard and pulsating. I feel my pussy juices drip onto his waiting face. I warn him to catch every drop with his mouth if he wants to please me. 

He does. 

"Well done, you've done something right for once". 

And before the scene can even finish playing out in my mind, I come back to the present. 

Just me in my bed, wondering what the fuck that was about, and how it got me so hot.

NK x